The Long Brown Coat
by abrynne
Summary: This is my story of traveling with a Lord of Time starting from when we met and through a whirlwind of insanity, hilarity, love, and absolutely wonderful madness. I’m still getting used to it. Ten and Alice Crown, the meeting.
1. Chapter 1 Coattails

Chapter 1 – Coattails

Trying to remember life before hand – that is, before I met the Doctor – is more difficult than I would have originally thought. I remember people, my family, friends and the like but my memories, though they are still dear to me and hold emotion for me seem to have dulled, faded into shades of grey after the brilliant color of experiencing life with the only one I've ever met who lives it to the fullest degree. But I would imagine that after having spent even one day with the Doctor anyone's life before would seem utterly mundane, even _normal_ – a word which amounts to that of a strong swear word to him. Because, you see, the Doctor is a being who doesn't take the time to recognize the definition of that word and because of that, he is the only one I believe exists who truly _lives_.  
This is my story of traveling with a Lord of Time starting from when we met and through a whirlwind of insanity, hilarity, love, and absolutely wonderful madness.  
I'm still getting used to it.

My parents died within the same year of each other. Mum had cancer on her bones. She died only weeks after being diagnosed. Dad was quick to follow. I think I'm the only one who still believes he died of a broken heart. Well, the Doctor believes it too actually.  
Dad took Mum's death with difficulty to put it mildly. He struggled in the beginning as he attempted to continue on with his life until he stopped going out. He stopped seeing people and a little while after that he stopped seeing me as well. I would sit outside his bedroom door in the house and waited until he decided to come out. I always believed that he would eventually.  
He never did.  
Daddy missed her so much he let himself waste away until he was no more as well.

I was twenty years old when I realized what it felt like to be alone.  
Like anything else though, you manage to become accustomed to loneliness. I was able to as well, living day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. I had my friends from my job and a few I was still in contact with from school. My brother called me whenever he remembered which was about once a month if I was lucky. He had moved to the United States several years earlier in pursuit of his career. I stayed in the old house I grew up in. It seemed wrong to sell it.

On I went, allowing myself to get into a routine. Though my parents left more than enough money for me to live on I went to work every morning and came home to the empty house every evening. The only fluctuation in the daily ordinariness was my writing. Nearly every night I would sit with a pen and paper or at my computer and write, allowing the world outside the old house to pass me by. Sometimes I wrote about my day or I would jot down stories that would come into my head. It relaxed me and it helped me to believe that maybe being ordinary wasn't so bad as long as I didn't fully accept it.

For four years I kept going until I started to feel the normalcy bubble waver. Even now I'm not exactly certain when it all began but the only thing I have to mark the point in time with is the very first time I saw him. It probably started before that but for some reason things became clearer to me after that day. Though he denies it I still believe the Doctor had some sort of influence over that instance.

It was midday on a weekend – a stormy day. I was out with my friend Kathleen, or Kat as I called her. We were shopping, enjoying a laugh with each other. I reveled in being around Kat because she helped me to forget if only temporarily. She was a sort of dampening field and she also didn't ask many questions.  
The rain had softened to a drizzle enabling Kat and I to move outside from one shop to the next one. There was some shoe place that she wanted to stop in. We were talking, moving with the crowds of people also enjoying a day of shopping, or simply running in and out of the shops to avoid the rain.

I had been filling Kat in on the latest gossip at the bank where I worked when I found that she wasn't focusing on me at all.  
"Are you even listening to me?" I said sounding slightly offended. She wouldn't hear me until I touched her on the shoulder, "Kat?" I said.

She held out her hand and stopped us both on the sidewalk and put her face close to mine so she could whisper in my ear. "Across the street, do you see him? I saw him watching us when we walked onto the street and he's _still_ looking at us." Her voice shook a little as she spoke to me. She kept her back facing the street and her eyes on me as I looked up and quickly scanned the opposite side of the street. There were clusters of people moving in all directions – I didn't see any person that stood out.

"I think he's gone, Kat." I said to reassure her. She did tend to over react sometimes. Some bloke must have only taken a glance at us and moved on. Kat turned lightly on her feet and looked again. She shook her head and turned quickly back to me. "He's still there," she hissed. "The tall one, long brown coat," she paused and glanced again out of the corner of her eye. "I think he's looking at you more than me."  
I did my best to fight the urge to roll my eyes and looked again.

The rain became heavier and people began opening their umbrellas again all around us creating a sea of black spotted with a bright color every now and then. That's what made him easier to spot. He stood motionless among the moving bodies that passed him with his hands in his pockets almost directly across from where Kat and I huddled together. The rain didn't appear to bother him at all. He only continued to look at us even when I met his gaze he didn't falter or move to look away.  
We watched each other, the both of us getting soaked. His once disheveled dark hair was plastered to his forehead. Neither of us moved. I wasn't sure if I could move. It was as though he had caught me in some sort of invisible trap only with his eyes. Soft brown eyes - they were deeper than I could see. They were haunted eyes in his apparently young face.  
It scared me.

I broke our gaze and looked at my feet taking a moment to realize that Kat had been trying to pull me out of the downpour.  
"Come _on_, Alice," she said, her eyes darting every now and again to the man across the street.

I nodded to her and started walking away risking only one glance over my shoulder. He was still there, just standing and looking. There was nothing I could see from his behavior that he was about to run at us or start following us – nothing to get me to run, which is what I felt I wanted to do as Kat and I walked quickly down the street to another shop.  
"I said he was only looking at you, didn't I?" Kat hissed at me as I brushed the wet hair out of my face.  
"It doesn't matter," I said quickly. "He's probably just some weirdo. He'll get caught soon enough."  
I went up to the window of the shop after we walked in and looked down the street through the sheet of rain on the outside. He had vanished.

--

The following Monday I phoned in to the bank and told them I wouldn't be in for work that day, not because I couldn't stand the thought of going in that day but because I truly felt awful. I was detached – only going through the motions before I went back to bed later that morning. That's when I really became aware of the depression – the emptiness that I had been carrying with me for I couldn't tell how long. My thoughts and dreams were darker as the memories were bubbling to the surface of my consciousness. I couldn't not think about them – my most horrifying memories; my parents' deaths, my high school sweetheart finally breaking up with me, my ginger haired cat that was hit by a car when I was a child. Memories I believed I had forgotten because they'd been so long ago were being drudged up inside my head allowing me to dwell upon them.  
I cried a lot that day, alone in my house. All I could do was focus on the memories – any attempt to distract myself went unheeded.

Around midday I was able to finally go to sleep and when I woke in the afternoon I found my thoughts easier to control. The memories were quiet for the moment. I was able to do a little house work in the evening while my thoughts were being kept at bay. I carried a bag of waste to the bin outside and I slowed and looked up at the sky. The air was crisp and I could see the red-orange light of the setting sun behind the clouds. I tossed the bag into the bin and let the lid fall closed with a clatter.

The street was silent as it normally was in the older neighborhoods. There was the rustle of the leaves on the ancient trees that shaded the house and the sound of a car or two driving down a lane a few streets away. I stood and allowed it to fill me as I listened when there was a sharp snapping sound. I opened my eyes but didn't move immediately. There was a large brown blur of something out of the corner of my eye. I whirled around in time to see the flick of a brown coat tail whip around to the side of the house.

The temporary peace I'd found shattered as anger built up inside of me. I was in no mood to deal with an idiotic pervert. If I met him I would not be held responsible for what would happen to him as angry as I was.  
"Oi!" I yelled and started after him with no thought as to who he was or if he was dangerous or anything of the sort. I reached the side of the house and saw a rustle in the bushes that led to the back garden.  
The back garden.

I bolted back around the house and flew through the front door planning to head him off. Through the kitchen and out the back door I ran out onto the grass.  
"Oi, you!" I bellowed at the surrounding foliage. "I know you're here! If you don't come out I'm calling the police." I walked across the garden to the back wall, brushing my fingers along the thick ivy that covered it. I moved along the perimeter of the garden and found nothing. Everything had fallen silent as it had been before my shouting save or my footsteps in the grass. I gave up and stomped back to the back door only turning to glare at the garden, "This isn't funny." I said as I slammed the door and locked it behind me.

I wasn't going mad. I knew somewhere in my head that what was happening to me wasn't madness but it was only a flicker of a belief at the time. I thought I was literally losing my head.  
That night my writing took a different turn. After I made certain that every single window and door was locked I wrote of a stranger, tall and dark in a brown coat that went down to his ankles.

My memories returned as I dreamed but they had become mangled, distorted the more I thought on them. I would see monsters, darkness and shadows in them. Real life images from my past were being contaminated by my own mind and made to be worse than they had been originally. Soon I found myself beginning to believe that my parents died of the darkness itself, a darkness that seemed to be consuming me as well though I wasn't aware of it yet.

As for the man in the brown coat he also added to my mounting theory that my sanity was indeed slipping. After the evening in the garden I got glimpses of him during the next few weeks. I would see him or even sense that he was near. Some instances I would catch a movement so quick that I would question whether anything had been there or not. In others I would turn and see the back of a tall man wearing a long brown coat and dark uncontrollable hair walking away from me. I would try to follow but always I would lose sight of him or I'd be jostled by a crowd of people moving in the opposite direction from him. It was maddening.

--

One morning about a month from the back garden incident, I was in the bank office. My memories were being held under control for the time being but the strange things got stranger. I stepped out of the office suite to get to the loo only to rest my head a bit. Keeping focused on the job had become much more of a challenge. It drained me to the point that all I wanted to do after work was fall into bed and give in to more of the dark dreams. I walked past the stalls in the ladies room and through the door in the back that lead to a rest or powder room. No one in the office ever decided on what to call it.

My heart was set on lying down on the small sofa for a moment but I couldn't get to it.  
In the middle of the room stood an enormous wooden box painted blue with two narrow doors on the front and lettering along the top paneling that read

POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX

I stared at it wondering how anyone could have gotten it in that little room in the first place and also in sheer disbelief. I took a step towards it. It definitely was a box. I put my hand up to it and pressed it flat against the wooden surface. The wood felt warm, comforting beneath my touch.

The front door to the loo opened and I quickly went out of the makeshift powder room. A woman I didn't know looked up at me, slightly startled by my sudden presence.  
"I wouldn't go in there just now," I said, pointing to the door I'd just come out of. "Looks like someone's been sick in there."  
The woman relaxed and nodded, "We should probably put up a sign or something until it gets cleaned up."  
"Good idea," I said as I passed her and opened the door to the corridor.

I didn't know why I felt that no one else should discover what I had seen in there. It was just a box after all. It could be just a prank someone was trying to pull for all I knew. But I couldn't help but feel I'd be betraying something if I told anyone. I went reluctantly back into the office. Teddy and Jordan – one a friend of mine, the other an overachieving, pompous, snotty nosed ass – were standing at the front window speaking in hushed voices.

Jordan's low mutterings reached my ears as I passed. "…if he comes around again we should tip off security."  
I froze and turned, robot like to the two men.  
"I agree," Teddy replied. "But he's not really _doing_ anyone harm by making laps around the building."  
"They should be informed of any suspicious activity," Jordan said, sticking his jaw out importantly.

"Er," I said as I approached them, trying my best to appear casual. "Sorry, but who's acting suspicious?"  
Teddy smiled warmly at me, "Nothing to worry about, Alice. Just some weirdo probably."  
I had heard that before.

"Look," Jordan whispered. "He's coming round again."  
The three of us clustered together and peered out the window as though we were in a cheesy spy film. I took in a sharp gasp when I saw the man coming around the corner. The messy hair, dark eyes, and long brown coat. He strolled up the walk, his hands in his pockets looking at nothing in particular until he passed the window we were staring out of. He turned his head quickly looked at the three of us, then at me. He kept his eyes on me until he passed and then looked ahead again.

I stiffened as my brain quickly snapped to a decision. I found myself at the front door and wrenched it open, stepping out onto the walk. No one was there as I looked around me in every direction. He had gone. Again, he'd gone as though he'd never been there. I sighed helplessly and clenched my fists in frustration when I felt a pressure on my arm.  
Teddy had followed me out.

"Alice, what the hell are you doing? You don't even know who he is…do you?"  
"It doesn't matter." I said flatly.  
"Come back inside. If he's bothering you that much I'll get Jordan to call security." He started to pull me to the doors.  
I yanked my arm out of his grip, "Get off, Teddy!" I snapped at him feeling an unrecognizable hatred boil up inside of me. "Leave me alone for just a bit, can you do that?" Every word rang with spite and anger at him though I had no reason in the world to say anything of the sort to my friend.

Teddy's face changed instantly. He let me go and backed away, every crease in his face showing how hurt he was by my words. He mumbled an apology and went back inside leaving me alone leaning against the wall of the building.  
I crashed right then, allowing the pain of my thoughts to wash over me as I cried. I had never let my guard down as weak as it was but as I stood there I opened the flood gates as though I had given up fighting and waited for it to consume me. I remember thinking, believing that this is what going mad feels like.

"You were right," said a low and gentle voice. "This isn't funny. Not at all."  
I opened my eyes but didn't look up. Someone stood in front of me wearing a brown suit with blue pin stripes underneath a long brown coat. His hands were in his pockets, a slight breeze lifting the coattails at his ankles.  
"I should know," he continued. "I have a flawless sense of humor, of course."


	2. Chapter 2 Lord of Time

Chapter 2 – Lord of Time

My hands came away from my face and balled into fists. I'd never met this man but the idea then came to me and I believed that he most certainly was partly if not fully responsible for what was happening to me. I hated him. I hated everything in that moment. My face felt hot and my teeth clenched until it hurt my head as I looked up at him.  
Without a thought in my head I reached out and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. "Who the hell are you?" I said in a choked whisper, pushing him away from me.  
He staggered a little but didn't look the least bit surprised at my hostility towards him.

"What have you been doing to me?" I demanded as he stood upright in front of me again, the left side of his face turning a lovely shade of hot pink.  
But he didn't look angry or frustrated. He looked at me with sympathy, even pity and it only made me more furious. I only saw red through my eyes and it began to fog up my brain with the one emotion. Before I could lash out at him again he placed his hands gently on both sides of my face, not holding me or using any kind of force at all. He only rested his fingers in my hair and around my ears, his palms cupping my jaw. The anger and ferocity ceased. My stomach clenched as a shudder of panic moved through me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly as he closed his eyes. "Be still – just be still."  
I wanted to snap back at him but I had forgotten why I'd been so angry or why I had even slapped him. A wave of comfortable sleepiness came over me and I became vaguely aware of the twinge of guilt I felt at slapping him.  
"Better?" he said but didn't move his hands.  
"No," I said stubbornly, my voice thick and sluggish. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor."  
I laughed loudly, "'The'" Doctor? You're a doctor of everything then?" I blinked but his face continued to blur in and out of focus in front of me.  
He opened his eyes and took his hands away from my face. The corners of his mouth twitched but he managed to keep his face serious for the most part, "Pretty much, yeah."  
My head was clear but I was so groggy. My legs felt rubbery but I could _think._

"How did you do that?" I said in a small voice.  
"I didn't fix anything if that's what you're asking and that usually is the thing that people tend to ask," he scratched his head and looked at me thoughtfully. "Well, there goes trying to be discrete," he said with a sigh but shrugged it off and smiled kindly.  
The churning in my stomach seemed to echo in my ears along with my heartbeat. I moaned and reached out as I felt myself fall.  
"Woah!" he said as he lifted me back to my feet. "Take it easy."

"What have you done to me?" I whispered. For the first time I saw his dark brown eyes close to me. Still, they were deeper than I could see.  
"I've protected your mind for a little while at least – dulling the processes and sensory inputs, outputs and all that fun stuff."  
"So you've drugged me." I said.  
"That could be a way of putting it, yes."

There were two dead weights at my sides, pulling my body down. It took me more than a few minutes to realize that they were my arms. Though I thought I hated him at the moment – I frankly couldn't remember – the more I looked at him the more I realized how not bad looking he was. That all could have been the drugging, though.

I'm going to pause in my story to inform any reader who happens to come across these stories that at this point I was not exactly fully aware of what was going on. My memory seems to have been affected by his drugging as well. So what happens next is a lot of what the Doctor told me happened. I cannot guarantee the accuracy.

I started to slide down the wall, my legs giving in underneath me but he grabbed hold of my arms and pulled me back up.  
"No," I moaned. "Let me go to sleep."  
"I might have over done it," he muttered to himself as he lifted my arm around his neck and wrapped his arm along my back to keep me upright. "But no use whining about that now." He tightened his hold on me as I was unable to hold on to anything at the moment.

"You can sleep in a minute. We should get you back home first."  
"…car is over there." I muttered into his shoulder and pointed lazily in a random direction.  
"I'm sure it's very nice but not at the efficiency we need, I'm afraid. Come on. Try and walk with me."

We staggered together back into the building and through the bank office doors. Teddy confronted us.  
"What have you done to her?" he demanded.

The man who called himself 'The Doctor' quickly extracted a small pocket fold and flipped it open. "I'm Doctor Smith, I've been checking on Miss…Miss – "  
"Miss Crown." Teddy said.  
"Yes, of course – Miss Crown since she was taken ill about four weeks ago. It seems she's having a relapse of symptoms. I came to check on her and I nearly was too late. I'm taking her into care immediately."  
"But that hand thing. What were you doing to her? And don't you think I didn't see." Teddy argued.  
"I was trying to calm her. It seemed to work, don't you think?"

"Hi Teddy." I said with a silly smile and a limp flap of my hand.  
"I would also appreciate it if you didn't expect her back to work until you've heard from me. Thanks so much!" He started out the door with me in tow.  
"But Doctor – " Teddy protested as he held the door open for us.  
"Thanks again for your cooperation." The Doctor said quickly and heaved us out the door. "Bye now!"

I couldn't feel exactly where my feet were by that time, "I'm sick?"  
"In a way, yes. Very sick actually," the Doctor answered calmly.

I lifted my head, as difficult as it was to see where we were headed, "I thought I was going home – and you do know that this is the ladies toilet right?" I pointed vaguely at the stalls in case he hadn't noticed them before.  
"I'm perfectly aware of that, thanks."

We moved past the stalls and he pushed the door to the powder room open. The presence of the large blue box didn't seem to interest him at all. Instead he walked right up to it and propped me up against him as he searched in his pockets for something.

My cheek rested against his neck and my nose tickled against his hair as my arms dangled like limp pasta at my sides.  
"Smells good." I said stupidly.  
"Thanks much, but you'll get nowhere with flattery. Well, maybe a little bit but not very far." He said sternly. "How odd is that really? A girl as young as you incessantly flirting with someone like me so early in the relationship. It's ghastly to think about."  
I giggled, "Incessantly. You think you're just …allofthat, don't you?"  
"All what?"

There was a jingling and a click.  
"Ah, in we go. Good time too. I think your boyfriend called the police on me anyway."  
The door to the box opened and I felt him heft me inside. So many points of light and colors blurred and blended in my vision until I let the fatigue take me over. I wasn't afraid of what my dreams would hold for me then. For a reason I didn't understand at the time I felt safe.

--

Another pause just for a tick. The Doctor has argued that I should continue on from that point because it technically was the first time I set foot into his incredibly impressive space ship. But as I have no memory of it and _I'm_ the one telling the story, he'll have to forgive me. Honestly, it's like your parents claiming that you've been to Paris simply because you happened to be with them as a baby when they went.  
It doesn't count if you don't remember it.

So, following what I do remember. I woke up in my bed, at home. I blinked several times before realizing where I was but I was home – still wearing my blouse and skirt but the jacket I was wearing had been taken off and was draped neatly over the desk chair on the other side of the room. I felt warm and heavy – almost like I'd made an actual permanent dent in the mattress.

Odd, though. I didn't remember getting home. It must have been a dream. The man in the coat, my yelling at Teddy – all of it somehow must have been a dream. But that still didn't explain how I'd gotten to where I was. The thought that I should probably get up and figure out what day it was passed quickly through my head but I was so relaxed that I didn't want to move. I began to drift of again which I didn't mind at all when I was jolted awake by a noise coming from the downstairs. It was music, a loud sort of march that I was too disoriented to identify.

I rolled out of bed nearly crashing onto the floor and stumbled, bleary-eyed out of the room. After I negotiated the stairs with some success I followed the music, which wasn't nearly as loud then, into the front room. The telly was on and I groaned in comprehension of the noise. Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca were walking down to Princess Leia to receive their medallions from the Rebel Alliance for destroying the Death Star – all of this to the loud _Star Wars_ march.  
The back of the sofa faced me but just above it I could see a mess of dark brown hair. Another groan of comprehension.

"Oh dear Lord, it wasn't a dream," I moaned.  
The tuft of brown hair moved as he turned in his seat and sure enough it was the Doctor's face that peered over the back of the couch at me through rectangular framed spectacles. "Are you feeling better?" he said as he got to his feet, the ending credits of the film started scrolling up the screen.  
"Depends on what you mean by 'better'."  
The Doctor stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ceiling as he thought for a moment, "Well, what I mean by the word is do you feel less poorly than before?"  
"I suppose so," I brushed my hair from my face. "How'd you get me here?"

He walked up to me, his expression still apprehensive as though he were waiting for another outburst from me. But as far as that went I couldn't feel much of anything at all.  
"At least you're a little more awake," he said and put his hands to my face as he'd done before.  
"What are you doing?" I said though his touch was warm and comforting like the feel of that blue box.  
"Just checking. You're still alright," he said but didn't pull away immediately. "You live here alone?"

I nodded my head between his hands, "Yeah, after Dad died."

I kept my eyes closed as images flashed past them, too quickly for me to see. I set on one and saw myself looking at the inside of my house but I was looking through different eyes. My vision was set a little higher and I walked about the rooms with longer more confident strides. The house was dark but it didn't seem to affect me. I opened a door, the door to the cellar and went down the steps finding the blue box waiting for me as it always had. I pushed the door open and stepped into an enormous and beautiful room, only my footsteps could be heard inside of it.  
"You're alone too," I whispered without thinking.

My eyes opened and I was met with his dark brown ones studying me as they seemed to have a habit of doing.  
"What's your name?" he asked, his hands slipping from my face.  
"Alice,"

A grin spread slowly across his face, "Alice. That's brilliant. Alice has met a bit of Wonderland, eh? Well, that's one thing we have in common."  
"We both have names associated with children's fairy tales?"  
"No, we're both alone."  
"Oh."  
We stared at each other for a long minute. A complete stranger stood in front of me in my own home but from the way he looked at me then I knew that this man, this stranger knew me better than anyone I'd ever known or would ever know.

The film credits ended and he looked to the screen.  
"_Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope_," he laughed. "Though technically not originally number four in the lineup but every writer has his prerogative I suppose. It's been ages since I've seen the film though it is such a different feel when you're sitting by yourself in a house as opposed to the Los Angeles premier in 1977. Now _that_ was a brilliant summer."  
I guffawed in disbelief, "You've seen the original release of the first _Star Wars_?"  
"A few times, yeah."  
"You were what, five years old maybe?"

He led me over to the couch and we sat down. He didn't answer but the longer no one spoke the more questions entered my head.  
"Hold on," I said as I sat down. "Did you bring me home?"  
He pulled a quilt off of the back of the couch and draped it over my legs. He still didn't answer.  
"If you did you must have already known where I live and if _that's_ true," I pointed a finger at him. "You _have_ been stalking me!" I concluded.

He raised his eyebrows in innocent surprise but couldn't keep the little smirk off of his face, "Your imagination is top notch, Alice. That's one of the first things I noticed though 'stalking' is kind of a harsh word to use."  
"You have!" I nearly yelled and got to my feet. "That day in the rain, in the garden, on street corners, car parks, shops, and even here – you were really there in all of those places. I thought I was going mad. I've been seeing you everywhere. It's your fault this is happening to me." I glared at him but made no move against him.

"That's where imagination gets you sometimes. Now you're only being presumptuous." He spoke calmly as though he were a professor addressing an aggressive teenage student. "I know you have questions, Alice." He stood causing me to realize how tall he was and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I will answer any and all questions you'd ever want to shout at me but you've got to trust me."  
I stood stubbornly where I was and didn't answer but he didn't let me go.

"I know what's been happening to you," he spoke seriously. "The shadows – the darkness in your dreams; the most horrible memories coming to the surface and staying there, tormenting your conscious mind."  
I lifted my eyes to him and wiped them dry. _Finally_, someone who knew – someone who could perhaps tell me what was going on. Whether he was the cause or not I wanted to trust him then. "It's getting worse," I spoke helplessly, allowing my guard to fall.  
"I know. Even now it's there, in your eyes."

I moved back to the sofa and sat down, wrapping myself in the quilt as he sat next to me.  
"So, any questions to help you trust me?" he took off the specs and slipped them into his outside jacket pocket.  
"Who are you?" I said having decided to sty with the most obvious of curiosities.  
"I'm the Doctor as I told you earlier."

"It makes as much sense now as it did then," I said, rolling my eyes. "'The Doctor'. You're a doctor of medicine?"  
"One could say so, yeah."  
"Archeology?"  
"Most definitely."  
"Astronomy?"  
"You have to be when you do what I do."  
"Philosophy?"  
"Yep."  
"Psychology?"  
"Mmhmm," he nodded lazily. "Although that isn't an exact science. I do my best to avoid it most of the time."  
"Music?"  
"Music History is my forte, but yes."

I glared at the pompous weirdo sitting on my couch. "You'd have to be two-hundred years old to have accomplished all that."  
He nodded his head in agreement but leaned closer to me, "Who says I'm not older than that?"  
"_What?"_ I said sharply. My head was starting to ache what with trying to make sense of what he was saying. He couldn't be older than thirty-five if that.

"You have a brilliant imagination, Alice. I've seen it. I know for a fact that you can take more into consideration than what you're doing now."  
I stared at him. Imagination? What could he possibly mean by imagination? He wasn't a figment, he was physically sitting next to me in my home. But for a moment – for a single second I didn't believe it. I quickly touched his hand that rested on the couch cushion and looked into his eyes. "You are real, aren't you? I'm not sitting here talking to myself, am I?"

He flipped his hand over and held mine.  
"That's what being alone does, doesn't it? You begin taking it for granted and when it's not there, when you're not alone, you become even more frightened of the prospect."  
He squeezed my hand in his own to reassure me, "I am very real, Alice. You're not going mad." He smiled as I nodded.

"Okay," I said, arranging myself comfortably on the couch and facing him. "Let's keep this simple."  
"Do we have to? I'm a rather complex individual – "  
"For my sake, Doctor Whoever You Are. Just answer with a 'yes' or 'no' as honestly as you can."

"Fair enough," he straightened up in his seat and folded his hands in his lap as he fixed me with a stare that seemed like it could pierce through my very brain which could only mean that I had his undivided attention.  
"Alright," I said, feeling a little nervous under his gaze. "You have been following me all this time?"  
"Yes, but it's not – "  
"Now," I pointed a finger at him. "Yes or no only. You can explain in a minute."

I waited until he'd fully closed his mouth and stared at me again.  
"You said it wasn't stalking. So you've been following me because you know what's been happening to me. You know about the shadows. Your following me is for my own good then?"  
"Hopefully, yes."  
"Do you know what it is?" I said softly, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.  
"Not exactly, but I have an idea."  
"Is that a yes or no?"  
"I'm afraid it's an 'I don't know.'"

I shook my head as I continued to confuse myself. Everything was still so vague.  
"Are you older than two hundred years?" I hesitated with every word as ridiculous as they sounded.  
He folded his arms across his chest and pursed his lips in an attempt to hide a smile I guessed. "A different angle now? Yes, I am."  
"Three hundred?"  
His eyes sparkled, "Yes."  
I don't know why – any rational human being would have stopped right there or even before then and had him committed – but I kept going. "Six hundred?"  
"Yes."  
"One thousand?"  
"No."

The answer caught me off guard. If he was mad why not keep going? There would be nothing to lose after all.  
"You're younger than one thousand years?"  
"Looks can be deceiving," he said with a small smirk on his lips.  
I didn't speak. I believed my brain had jammed at that juncture.  
"Are you alright?"

I realized I had been gaping at him like a stupid looking fish. "Yeah, sorry. Er, eight hundred?"  
"It would be much easier if I just told you. If this were Twenty Questions you would have already used up five just to decipher my age."  
"Go on then." I said with a shrug.  
"I am nine hundred and five years old."  
"You're mad." I blurted out.  
"That may be true but it's entirely beside the point," he said casually as though we were discussing a favorite book of his.  
"No, I mean you're out of your mind. I've let a mental case inside my house and I'm still sitting here talking to him.

A small smile played across his lips, "Yes you are. That all on its own should tell you something, shouldn't it Alice Crown? You're seeing what you only believe is a human being sit in front of you and say he's nearly a millennium in age. He looked away from me and stared at the wall in thought for a second, "Oh, that's a little depressing. After we're finished here I have a little list I need to consult – but back to my original point," he turned his eyes back to me. " – nearly a thousand years in age which is impossible to you only because of how you _think_."

What I believe is a human being… I mulled over his words in my head but it didn't help much.  
"Are you human?"  
"Nope."  
"What are you then?" I had a feeling I was going to regret the question.  
"I'm a Time Lord."  
I grinned stupidly at him, "Sounds important."  
"It is that."

All I had to do was leap off of the couch and make a run for the nearest telephone. I could grab it and lock myself in the bathroom so I could call for help. At least he wasn't a very violent psychopath. But he was most definitely bonkers.  
"What makes it so hard to believe? Consider the past events that the world has seen. Think of what's been going on in your head. It hasn't always been there, has it? You remember being happy, don't you?" his eyes were warm but I was afraid of them still. How could he know such things? "I saw all of that – the little girl in the red dress with the lovely dark hair – "

I ripped my hands from his, "How can you know about that?"  
"Comes with protecting your mind. I've got some of your memories in here now," he tapped his temple.  
My eyes lost focus as I searched for the memory he spoke of. I saw beams of sunlight filtering in through the windows of the house that day. The sky was clear and beautiful. "That was the day of the very first birthday party I ever had."

"How old were you?"  
"Eight. That red dress with the white trim was my very favorite dress, my best dress. Mum didn't want me to wear it because of that but I wanted to look my best."  
"That little girl is still in there somewhere," he said.

I realized he'd been studying me as I spoke and all I could see in his face was the look of understanding.  
"Now tell me, what's impossible?" he said softly, his lips curled into a soft smile.  
I mouthed some nonsense but no sound came out anyway.  
"Nothing," I said, barely believing it.  
"Exactly," he leaned back, a satisfied grin on his face.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I attempted to wrap my brain around what he was asking me to believe. In all honesty, I wanted to believe it. I wanted with all of my soul to believe that there was something more to this world, that there was the darkness but also a matching light and wonder that most humans have not had the chance to glimpse yet.  
"So, Time Lord," I said to confirm and he nodded as another question struck me. "Does that mean what I think it means?"  
"What do you think it means?" he asked, looking thoroughly interested in what I had to say.

"Normally when you think of aliens you think of traveling through space, galaxies and all that. But as the word 'time' is part of the name of your species, and going off of this idea that nothing is impossible…" my voice drifted off. I couldn't finish the sentence. It may not have been impossible but it certainly was unfathomable.  
"Yes," he said.  
"Yes, what?"  
"Yes, I'm a time traveler. You couldn't bring yourself to ask the question directly but you'll learn. Again, that imagination of yours Alice is something else. I admit that not very many have put that together even after they hear the name of my race."

"That means that when you saw _Star Wars_ you actually were there. You could have gone to see it just yesterday or you could have been thirty years younger and seen it," I spoke slowly, calculatively, and truly believing I was losing my mind.  
"Well done."  
"But how is it you don't look it? You only look like you're around my brother's age."

"How old is he?" he said curiously.  
"Thirty-four."  
"Oh, I'm flattered!" he laughed heartily.

"So you're an alien on Earth because…?"

"No, there is not an entire fleet of me waiting behind the magnetic field of the moon to avoid detection as we prepare for an invasion. As I told you before, I'm alone just like you. I was only passing through when I spotted you."  
My eyes widened and the memory of that day leaped to mind; his face wet with the rain but his eyes still looking, still searching as they gazed at me. "That day on the street." I said.  
"You passed me on the other side of the street and something stopped me. I thought it had come from you but I couldn't be sure until you looked at me. The eyes truly are windows to the very soul and I saw the darkness overshadowing yours when I looked in your eyes that day. It's been with you for a long time, Alice. Even now, I can see it."

I didn't dare mention what I saw in return. The endless depth – the bottomless memory and thought that frightened me. I could sense it in his voice when he spoke. At least the reasoning behind it was now explained.  
"Why didn't you tell me before?"  
"I couldn't be sure what it was. At the moment it was contained and with my help, you were still able to live your life up to a point. I thought that I would maybe be able to fix it before you realized what was going on."  
"So what you've done to my head, it's not permanent?"  
"I'm afraid not."

"What happens now?"  
He hesitated, looking away from me back to the television. The DVD menu had been playing over and over as we were talking. "Now, you need to rest and I…need to watch _The Empire Strikes Back_. It's too soon yet," he said before I could protest. "The best thing to do now is for me to keep an eye on you and for the both of us to figure out exactly what we're dealing with before whatever it is causes you substantial harm."  
The Doctor waited until I nodded in agreement then leaped up to the DVD player to switch films.

I looked to my lap and found that I was still in my work clothes. My skirt and blouse both wrinkled messes as I had slept in them for a few hours. I left the room, doing my best to ignore that small little blink of hope that had begun to glow after hearing what he'd said. No, he didn't know what it was but he could figure it out and help me. I was not going mad.

I got to my bedroom and looked in the mirror. My hair had become a great disaster. I quickly pulled it back in as smooth of a pony tail as I could manage and found a dressing gown, an old t-shirt and some sweats with no holes in them. Feeling much more comfortable, I went back into the front room to find the opening story line scrolling up the screen.

The Doctor – that would take me a while to get used to – was reclining in his seat, his arms behind his head. I smiled at how easily he made himself comfortable and moved round to the sofa.  
He glanced up at me and immediately sat up, "Are you alright? Is it happening again?" I shook my head, "No, I –" I looked at the television. Luke and Han were riding Taun-Tauns across the frozen tundra of Hoth. An entire planet covered in snow. My eyes went back to the Doctor - the time traveler, the explorer of the galaxies – who looked worried for me. "I'm fine, really. I just – I don't want to be alone." I felt my cheeks go pink with embarrassment but he smiled at me and patted the cushion next to him.

"Plenty of room for one more."  
I sat next to him and curled up under the quilt, "There are really worlds like that out there?" I said nodding at the screen.  
The Doctor shrugged, "I have yet to see a planet made entirely of ice and snow but there's still quite a variety I'm sure I haven't seen.  
"Oh, there was one once where the planet was all ocean. The entire thing was a big ball of water floating through space! Every creature lived beneath the enormous sea in huge cities. Water and air breathing species both coexisting together – some living in their bubbles the others in the ocean itself. It has several moons, everything working together keeping the water in its own magnetic field instead of breaking apart and floating through space."  
"What's it called?" I said, craving more.  
"Lemerae," he said with a vague smile on his face.

I smiled as well. "Sounds like something from a story book."  
"Nah," he said. "The most exciting things ever experienced never come from books. Take _The Lord of the Rings_ for example."  
"That's a story isn't it? And very exciting if I remember correctly." I read the book about once a year.

"Well where do you think Mister Tolkien got all that information from in the first place? You have to admit Middle Earth is incredibly detailed in that book although he did miss some of the finer points, I think – "  
"Hold on," I said, my eyes bugging out at him. "Are you telling me that it actually happened? The Dark Lord Sauron, the 'my precious', short little people with large hairy feet, and all of that?"  
"Still going on, actually," he muttered as he thought and rubbed his eyes. "The Elves for example, much finer senses of humor. They're really quite a riot once you get to know them…"  
I gaped at him in stunned silence as the Empire was invading the hidden Rebel base.


	3. Chapter 3 Memory

Chapter 3 - Memory

Whatever it was that was inside my head seemed to be beaten back by the presence of the Doctor then. I had a pleasant sleep with no nightmares to speak of. The darkness seemed to be staved off for the time being. My eyes opened slowly, my limbs feeling as though they were made of lead. The T.V. was off and the room was dark save for a chink of morning sunlight peeking through the curtains at the window.  
I found I was alone as I sat up.

Could it all have been a dream? I definitely didn't remember having a pillow when I fell asleep. It certainly seemed real. I fought back the slight wave of panic that had surfaced with the thought and got to my feet, wrapping the quilt around me and shuffled into the kitchen. I then went upstairs – still just me in the house. I sighed on my way back down the stairs – perhaps it had been a dream after all I thought to myself as I opened the door to the cellar and walked down the creaky wooden steps.

The idea was certainly depressing enough without the thought that I had to return to work on top of it all. I stepped onto the cement floor of the cellar and stopped. It wasn't a very large room to begin with but it had been made even smaller then. Standing in front of a wall of storage shelves was the blue police box. I moved up to it and placed my hand on the wooden surface as I'd done before and smiled at the comfort I felt from it.

The narrow doors were shut but as it was the last place in the house I could look and also because it didn't actually belong to me I knocked on the wood. There was a clattering of footsteps and the door squeaked open.  
"Ah!" the Doctor said with bright eyes and a warm smile. "Good morning. Have a good sleep?"

I couldn't answer right away – most of my mind was occupied in rejoicing the fact that he was real and everything that I believed happened did actually happen.  
I quickly found my voice, "Yes, thank you."

"No dreams?"  
"None that I can remember."  
"Always the best kind I say. Dreams are best when dwelled upon in sleep and are tedious figments of reality when you're awake." He said philosophically.  
"Some people like remembering their dreams," I said. One dream in particular regarding Hugh Jackman came to mind in that instance.  
"Only when they fulfill one fantasy or another," – I blushed – "It's dangerous, holding onto something that has no proper existence." He pursed his lips and his eyes turned hard for just a moment before they focused back on me and then it seemed more like they were looking inside my head.

After a moment he smiled, "No use lurking in my doorway and as I've already seen your home it's only fair that you see mine when you're a little more awake at least." He stepped aside and held the door open for me.  
My feet wouldn't move at first. I leaned in and gazed in absolute awe at the enormous room that the small blue box held inside it. I forced my feet to move timidly over the threshold and walk up the ramp into the vast room that defied all the laws of physics that I was aware of.  
"It's – " I stammered and he looked at me expectantly. "Time Lords must be aware of different laws of physics than what I'm used to."  
I couldn't stop my eyes from roaming about the room in wonder. "We're still in the blue box?"  
The Doctor smiled and nodded, "It's called the TARDIS."

He walked with me up to the main level that had a large circular console surrounding a long and wide tube I could only assume was some sort of power chamber. "The TARDIS – your space ship." I could barely even think the words it sounded so absurd and I never would have believed it if I hadn't been standing inside of it. The warmth I'd felt from the outside of the blue box was ten times more potent inside the ship. It helped to clear my head.

"It's all true," I breathed. "This, and you, and everything – all from another world."  
"You didn't believe me before?" he said, sounding mildly surprised.  
I looked at him sheepishly, "It always helps to have some sort of solid confirmation." I said. "I believed you but this," I touched some of the workmanship, it felt warm, almost alive against my touch. "This makes it much more real to me I think. I'm a bit of a visual person."

My smile melted away and the comfort I felt died in my stomach. I stood outside the door to my father's bedroom, tapping on it gently and calling to him. "Dad?" I said. "Daddy, please answer me."  
All I ever got in response was a grunt or an angry shout to leave him be. It tore at me every time. But I was there, I stood there. I could still help him if I took the chance.

A voice called my name but it wasn't Dad's voice. It was a man but he seemed to be calling from a great distance away as though I was only hearing an echo of his call.  
I looked down and saw the Doctor's hands around my wrists and I found that I as on my knees on the floor of his space ship.  
"Alice!"  
"Daddy, please – " I looked into his eyes and begged him helplessly. "He won't come out, he won't talk to me as though I did something to kill her. I can't stand it."

"Alice, it's alright you're not – "  
"No!" I yelled at him. "I can't stand it! He thinks he's the only one who has the right to be affected by her death so severely. It's not fair! Leaving me out – pushing me away like this." I cried.

I then observed the Doctor as though it was the first time I'd noticed him, "You could help me. We can break the door in. Then he won't have a choice but to let me in." I said and got to my feet, dragging him with me. "It's killing him – keeping himself locked up in there." I pulled the Doctor out of the TARDIS and up the cellar steps, through the kitchen and up to the second floor.

I rarely went into my parents' bedroom for obvious reasons but I strode determinedly to the door which already stood open a crack. I pushed it open the rest of the way. The bed was made, the room was empty save for the morning light breaking through the dirt on the window.  
"He's gone," I breathed as I moved to the bed. "He's left me." I looked at the Doctor, ignoring the tears on my face, "He's died and left me alone. Nearly five years I've been alone because of how selfish he was."

I sat down on the bed and curled up, lying down on my side and clutching one of the pillows to me as I cried. The reality of my loneliness overcame me as the memories resurfaced. All of my life people had left me, always left me behind like a forgotten child's toy and there I was, left behind and alone because I had run out of people to abandon me.

The Doctor stood in the doorway as I lay on the bed, "Alice," he said gently.

I raised my head with a hiccough to acknowledge his presence.  
He had to have seen something I didn't realize because in a flash he was at my side, sitting next to me on the bed. He bent over me and placed his hands to my face as he'd done before.  
"You are not alone," he said firmly.  
I realized his presence in my mind and allowed him in. I didn't care if he decided to scramble my brains with whatever he was doing. Nothing mattered anymore.

A sudden rush went through my head and my breath left me, the Doctor's presence in my head was pulled away suddenly and we broke apart, the Doctor's hands ripping themselves away from me like he'd touched something scalding hot. I blinked, allowing my eyes to focus and sat up. I was in Dad's bedroom but I wasn't sad any longer. My memories faded and fell back into the storage area I kept for them in my head. Everything had become clear. I smiled and laughed sloppily when I heard a moan next to me.

The Doctor lay on the bed next to me, his hands over his face.  
"Dead," he muttered. "They're all dead."  
"Who? Doctor, what is it?" I moved over to him cautiously. The celebration of my mind returning to itself was suddenly forgotten when the Doctor sat up quickly, his face inches from my own. But it wasn't his face. The brown eyes looked out at me but they were darker, there was something else just behind them and I knew what it was.

Tears welled up in his eyes and splashed down his cheeks freely. He grabbed hold of my hands and held them tightly, "I had no choice! Don't you see? I had no choice. They would have killed them all and moved on if I did nothing." He looked tragically at me and all I could do was stare at him. I had no idea what he was talking about but whatever it was it caused him more pain than I'd ever seen a person experience, "I saved the entire universe!" he wailed. "The whole of the damned universe and what did it cost me? _Everything!_"

"Doctor, calm down now. Look at me –"  
"Oh, Rose!" he said, yanking on my hands, pulling me closer to him. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Sweet Rose." He squeezed his eyes shut as though he were fighting something back, "No, no, no, no – I'm so sorry I couldn't save you." He said, his eyes opening to me again. "I'm sorry I left you alone, I'm sorry I let you in far enough to care for me. I'm sorry for everything."  
He sniffed and wiped his eyes roughly, "Never again. Never ever again. Do you understand me?"

His grip on my hands and wrists became so tight that it started to hurt.  
"Doctor, please," I said.  
"No! No, I will not! Death and destruction, all the time, everywhere. It's fun isn't it? Yeah." He said with a mad laugh and went on from there sounding madder and madder the more he spoke.

My now clear head was rifling through what I could do to help him. Obviously whatever it was that had been in my head somehow latched onto the Doctor and was now torturing the poor man into insanity. I had to get it out of him and I only knew one way. The Doctor lay back on the bed, moaning and shouting out random words and phrases in languages I had never heard.  
I knelt next to him on the bed and took his hands in mine.

"Doctor," I said gently.  
"Doctor," I called again.  
He opened his wet eyes and saw me.  
"Doctor, give it back to me." I put his hands up to the sides of my face and held them there, "Let it be mine again." I kept my voice from shaking though I was terrified of what was about to happen.  
My breath caught in my chest and I heard a cry – a scream as an invisible force pushed me backwards. I landed on my back on the edge of the bed, the mournful thoughts returning, my short lived blissful clarity forgotten. I felt it in my chest, then my throat. My eyes opened as a scream burst from me – a raging, evil scream. It was my voice but not of me.

The bed shook as the Doctor scrambled over to me, his face still stained with tears but the focus was back in his eyes.  
I wanted to die. The misery and hatred that seemed to consume me in that moment was of a potency I never believed I could undertake.  
"Do you recognize me?" the Doctor said.  
His face hovering over me went in and out of focus, the colors blurring and dulling.

"Kill me," my voice was raspy and harsh. "Please kill me."  
Death would have been complete bliss. Feeling absolutely nothing as apposed to all the sorrow in the world that seemed to be in my head.  
"Not a chance," he replied.

I whimpered at his response and closed my eyes. Before me stood a beautiful citadel, tall enough that it looked as though it stood above the clouds. The colors were striking bronze, orange, and gold colors reflecting the sky in the city. But the orange color was not of the magnificent buildings that towered over the landscape. The city was burning and it tore at my very being to witness it.  
"No, please, let me die as I let them die," I moaned. "Please let me go."

The image changed, I was in a white room, my voice screaming out her name. She had long blonde hair and looked to be floating in mid air, gripping onto a lever. I heard her cry out as her hand was ripped from the safety of the lever. Her terrified scream dissolved my insides as she was pulled to the far wall. I could only watch it happen.  
I could do _nothing_.

My eyes snapped open as I let out a yell again. The Doctor's face was inches from mine and for only a fraction of a second I understood some of the shadow, the enigma that I had originally sensed when I looked into his dark eyes.  
His hands were on my neck and face but I struggled against his touch. I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could to anywhere. Perhaps I could out run the memories.

"You're almost out of it," he said and leaned closer to me so our cheeks touched and his lips were next to my ear. "Focus, Alice," he whispered. "I need you to focus. It feeds on emotion – the more negative the better. But you can fight back, I know you can! Concentrate and listen to my voice."  
I reached up, gripping onto the first thing I could find, the sleeves of his jacket as though holding onto him would keep me from drowning.  
"There's nothing to fight for anymore," I said. "Everyone is gone and now she is gone too. Rose."

I had no more control of anything. I barely registered what I was saying to him with the flashes of images going in and out of my head. Worlds, and creatures I could never have imagined; thoughts and ideas that were never my own. There was so much of it and I felt myself floundering in it.

"Listen to me," he spoke calmly in my ear. "I know it's hard. Probably one of the hardest things you've ever done but I know you can fight it, Alice. You are the stronger one."  
"Everyone always leaves me," I cried freely. "Always alone!"  
His hand brushed my cheek, "I'm not leaving you, Alice. I promise. You've got to listen to me now. What you're seeing isn't real it's only thoughts and thoughts can be controlled. But what I'm saying to you is very real.  
"Remember last night? I promised that you weren't alone." He lifted my hair away from my face, "I'm here. Look at me. I'm right here with you and I swear I will not let that thing take you."

The images dimmed as I thought on his voice and his words. They rang clearly in my head though he was only speaking in a whisper. I wasn't alone. My awareness of the environment I was in became clearer. I felt his breath and his touch, the odd rhythm of his heart beat – all of it was real.  
"That's it. Let me help with the rest." His hands were on either side of my face once more and the dark memories were dampened. He must have taken precautions not to allow whatever it was back into his head.

I was able to think and I opened my eyes. He lifted his head up to look at me. A sweet, kind smile crossed his face, "Hello there."  
"'Lo," I replied weakly.

I could see his face clearly in front of me but the darkness, the rage was still there. It thrashed and tormented behind a sort of blockade the Doctor must have placed in my mind – keeping the storm at bay. I could still feel it. I looked around me, my eyes darting frantically and my breath growing shallow in anticipation of losing myself again.

"No you don't," he said. "_Look at me._" His hands still warm on my face, kept my head from moving about and I brought my eyes back to him.  
"Is it gone?" I already knew the answer.  
"I'm afraid not," he said slowly as he studied my face a moment or two longer. He sat up in front of me and I unclamped my hands from his suit, my fingers sore.

We both sat upright on the bed facing each other looking as though we'd just survived a natural disaster.  
I wiped my eyes and cheeks dry and looked at him.  
"What?" he said in response to my small smile.  
"Your hair," I laughed hoarsely. It was sticking out in every direction as though he'd just put his head in a clothes dryer. "Looks like you've been electrocuted."  
"Now that's good to see," he said looking satisfied. "I don't think I've seen a real smile off you until now. That's a step closer to one."

I felt my cheeks go pink and smoothed my hair away from my face, "So now what?"  
"First off of the agenda, I should thank you," he cleared his throat and appeared to become suddenly interested in the pattern of the bed spread. "I wouldn't have been able to help you if you hadn't helped me first."  
"You seemed worse off than I was," I shrugged. "It scared me."

I wanted to ask him about the images I saw that I knew very well didn't belong to me but another look at his apologetic eyes made me think the better of it.  
"I'm sorry for scaring you," he said sincerely.  
"Well, I'm sorry for slapping you yesterday. It was completely uncalled for now that I think on it."

The darkness in his eyes faded a little and his face brightened with a small smile. He stretched out his legs and leaped off of the bed. "Come on, we've got to get going if we're going to figure this out," he said, sounding more like his normal self as he moved around the bed and grabbed a hold of my wrist to pull me up.

"Hold on a minute," I said as I examined my clothes, finding I was still in my pajamas and dressing gown. "You go and do whatever time things you do while I go and get cleaned up a little."  
He sighed but nodded, "Alright. A half hour and you have an appointment with your Doctor." He grinned as he released me and strode out of the room.  
"We'll beat this thing Alice. I promise." He said as he went back downstairs.


	4. Chapter 4 Culraith

Chapter 4 - Culraith

Though the presence of whatever it was in my head never left me, after a shower and some decent clothes I felt more like myself again. I tied my hair back, put on some comfortable jeans and a t-shirt.

The house was quiet on the two main floors but as I headed down the cellar steps the noises became louder and louder. Clattering, banging and mutterings from the Doctor came from inside his magnificent ship. The little door was open spilling golden light onto the cold concrete floor. I creaked the door fully open and stepped through more easily the second time in and comfortably because I had wisely put on shoes as well.  
The Doctor didn't appear to notice me as I came up the ramp to the circular console. He was fiddling about with different gadgets attached to it, moving swiftly from side to side and all around the circumference of it repeatedly. I leaned against the railing that encircled the console and waited, watching him at work.

At first glance it looked like all of the controls on the highly advanced space ship were made up of pieces and parts from different machines and hardwired together into the TARDIS machine. At second and third glance I realized that's exactly what it was but it seemed to fit him. It worked for him.

At about his twenty fifth lap around the console the Doctor looked up and noticed me watching him.  
"More comfortable are we? Not as skeptical about things in general now?" he teased.  
He flipped switches, turned dials and pushed levers as he spoke.  
I gazed about the space ship interior again, "It's hard not to be comfortable in here." I said. " – feels safe somehow."  
He paused in his work and beamed at me.

"How's your head?" he said as he bent down for a closer look at whatever he was looking at.  
"It's alright. Whatever it is I can feel it. It's like it's stronger though – more potent…angry." The word seemed to fit.  
The Doctor nodded as he tinkered – slipping a small thin device out of his inside jacket pocket and pressing a button on it. It whirred and the end glowed blue but it seemed to be doing whatever it was he wanted. He held it in place for a few more seconds before he turned it off.

"Right, that should do it," he said slowly. "Alice, if you'll take a seat right over there we can get started and prove once again how brilliant I am." He nodded at a seat attached to the railing that curved around the console.  
I rolled my eyes as I walked over to it and sat down. He came up to me, wires and chords draped around his neck. He held the blue light tool in one hand and a small suction cup in the other with a wire attached to it.

"Okay," he said as he sat down next to me with a clatter and began sorting out the wires. "Here's an idea of what we're dealing with. There are hundreds of types of energy life forms in the universe," he said as he tried untying a tight knot in a bundle of wire. The knot wouldn't loosen and he stopped talking as he tried to pull it apart without much result. I seized the knotted wires from his hands hand began unlacing the knot using the little length of fingernails I had.  
"Go on," I said, pulling another section of wire free.  
"These life forms need very little to survive. They don't need water, or food, heat, or even air. But they have to be sustained by some sort of energy source as any sentient. This particular one," he tapped my forehead with his finger. "Seems to feed off of the raw energy of emotions."

"Hang on," I said, taking my eyes off of the wad of wires in my hands. "You're telling me that there is a living thing inside of me?"  
"There are millions of living things inside of all of us – bacteria for example. Even our individual cells can be considered living things. The difference is that what is inside of you is not only living but sentient and intelligent." He leaned closer to me, his expression growing more intense by the second the reason for which I learned later was that he simply enjoys the explanation part where he gets to explain everything and I get to listen for the most part.

"These life forms zip about through space on their own until they find an energy source that suits them whether it's a solar flare from a star or a twenty-four year old girl."  
"It's feeding off of me?" I stared at him, forgetting I was nearly finished with the wires.  
"Off of your emotions and if I'm right it's using some sort of ability to evoke memories related to the specific emotion it fancies. But because it's the one that brings the memories back to your conscious mind instead of you, they become distorted, darkened you could say."

I considered the memories and the images that have been in my head constantly for so long, "Anger, sadness, hatred, remorse…" I rattled them off one by one – all of the emotions I'd been experiencing nearly every single day.  
"Unfortunately, this one doesn't appear to be the best of its kind." The Doctor said.  
"So it will just stay in my mind until when?"

The Doctor's eyes looked grave, "Until you go mad or until you die. But," he added loudly. "It didn't count on meeting up with me and I wouldn't be pleased with either of those options."  
I began to fiddle with the wires again, "There must be easier ways for it to gain energy than my brain. There are people with darker pasts and thoughts…" I stopped and glanced up at him. He looked sad and considered me for a moment before he spoke again.

"That's another detail I should inform you of. When I created the link between our minds before, it took a chance to see what it would find inside me. When you've seen what I've seen over nine hundred years of experience there are plenty of memories and emotions to choose from. In my head it was able to gorge itself as it was presented with a veritable buffet of energy. It took most of what I had to push it back to you. That is why you can feel it getting stronger and that is why I need to keep my thoughts to myself for now."

"I'm so sorry," I said softly.  
The Doctor raised his eyebrows in mild surprise, "What for?"  
"I know what it's like. My memories are hard enough to handle. I can't imagine having so many years worth of difficult memories drudged up all at once. I don't believe anyone could handle that. You really must not be human because you still manage to smile at me."

It was his turn to gape at me, at my understanding but he recovered quickly, "I have happy memories as well. Many of them in fact. But that would be why we both probably shouldn't be left alone for a while."  
I nodded and bent over my wire work again.  
"You didn't have to take that thing back. You could have let it be done with me and it never would have bothered you again. But you chose to save barely an acquaintance and take the danger on yourself."  
I shook my head kept my face bent low to keep him from seeing how red it was getting, "There was no choice," I mumbled. "It was hurting you. You didn't see what it was doing to you. No one would have allowed that to continue – no decent person at any rate."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," he said as he lifted the suction cup to my face and stuck it to my temple with an air sealing noise. It held itself there and the wire attached to it trailed down my neck and my arm.  
"This is a link up to my ship. With the TARDIS connected I will be able to find out what we're dealing with precisely and then we can figure out what needs to be done with it."  
"It won't hurt you again?" I asked, watching him raise his hand up to me and put it on the side of my face as he'd done before.  
"Not with the TARDIS here. It's more powerful than anything your life form is prepared for. Now just relax and close your eyes."

I did as he asked and felt his presence in my mind once again only it was much more powerful, more evident than before. A surge of anger built up inside of me at his invasion and my inability to fight him off. I heard a growl and realized it came from my lips. I hated it. I _hated_ him. How dare he invade the space I had so clearly claimed for my own? Surely he could see that I was doing no harm to him and yet he continued to poke and prod around in her head. I tried to push him out but I couldn't reach him, I couldn't attack him either. He'd brought a fire, a light with him that burned into me.

"Alice," I heard his voice from far off. "Are you with me?"  
I wanted to warn him, to scream at him to run. He was frustrating it and I could feel it latching onto me more severely. A roar of pain came from my throat but it was not my voice.

"Alice?"  
The pressure of his hand on my face was still there, I sensed him close to me but I couldn't respond. Something held me fast as though I was pinned in a corner and I couldn't reach the doorway of the prison I was being held in. I opened my eyes and saw the Doctor looking back at me but I knew it wasn't me he saw. Something else was looking out at him and I couldn't fight it back. I strained and struggled against my jailer but its hold on me was too strong. I watched horrified through my own eyes as the Doctor faced what was taking me over. He must have seen something wrong. The Doctor's brow furrowed and his mouth turned into a frown.

"Who are you?" he said calmly though I could see a dangerous flicker in his eyes.  
"_Break the connection or she will die."_ A rough voice answered him through my own mouth though I had no control over it.  
"You aren't able to do that yet. That's why you've taken to this human woman."  
Anger, white hot anger coursed through me at his cocky response.

"How long have you been on Earth?" there was a dangerous part to his tone of voice.  
"_Five of their years. I cannot break free of the planet."  
_"Which is why you began taking to humans for your energy source. Alice is not the first, is she?"

"_The male had very little resistance, he was weak. The female is much more… enjoyable."  
_I knew I was smiling but it was only the life form smiling through me.  
"Her father," The Doctor said softly.  
"_Yes,"_ said the dark voice. _"These humans waste so much of their wonderful energy in mourning over their losses. He was a feast to be certain."_

The Doctor's lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. "Calling anything weak is rather hypocritical of you considering what you're doing."  
"_I have every right. Humans are insignificant, completely ignorant of the world they live in. Alice Crown is especially of no consequence."  
_"How do you figure that?" the Doctor's voice wavered slightly. His patience was wearing out.  
"_Alice Crown longs for death, living day to day as no one, unimportant and alone."  
_"And that justifies you taking her life from her, does it?"  
"_Yes, she is the perfect host."_

The Doctor rubbed a hand over his face but kept as calm as can be expected. "You know, it would be so much easier for the entire universe if all of the self important species would simply look in the mirror once in a while. It would save the rest of us a bit of a headache, I can tell you."  
"_I am only preserving my survival just as you would be doing, Doctor."_

The Doctor looked sharply at me, his eyes flashing.  
"_Oh yes, the girl knows you so I know you. I was also in your head for a moment or two. All of that anger and fury – all of the darkness you possess. She sees it as do I. You have so much rage, Doctor."  
_"Which you understand too well," the Doctor snapped.  
"_As do you. You are a paradox in yourself, Doctor. There is such black shadow in you yet you mask it with feigned happiness and excitement."_

"You will let her go," the Doctor said fiercely. "If you do not, I will force you from her."  
"_Would you destroy your Alice as you destroyed your own kind? For the greater good as you put it, Doctor."_ A laugh forced its way from my chest, a rough and cold laugh. _"You must have learned by now that the preservation of self is the most important. In that you learn self reliance as the Culraiths have done and we are stronger because of it."  
_"Strong?" the Doctor cracked a smile. "You are _hiding_ inside an innocent woman who had no defenses, no way of knowing what you are. She has no way of fighting you! You may call that strength – ", he took his hand away from my face, moved to the console and flipped a switch. My prison broke open and I escaped, raising my hand and ripping the suction cup from my head.

A piercing, infuriated scream filled my brain like a siren on a migraine. I squeezed my eyes shut against it and saw my father in his bedroom. He lay on the bed where the Doctor and I had been moments before. His legs and hands twitched and his forehead dampened with sweat. I saw the last moments of my father's life. They were spent in depression and fear. "No," I moaned softly, hearing my own voice as I opened my eyes.  
The Doctor was hovering over me like a worried mother and I looked down at my hands. Strips of deep red crisscrossed my palms where I'd been holding the bundle of wires. The Doctor got to his feet, ran to the consol and began rifling through drawers. The sound of his search and the echoes inside my head grew confused and muddled. The life form – the Culraith was thrashing and wailing inside my head. I felt it. I could almost hear it as though it was far off like the echo of an oncoming storm.

He returned at my side and pressed a thin towel to my hands. I winced at the small stinging on my palms. "It's alright, Alice. Only shows you're still alive." He said.  
I glanced at him but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were darting about, looking wild as though he couldn't decide where to place his concentration. "Culraiths," he muttered.

"Do you know what they are?" my voice was hoarse and ragged.  
"Oh yes," he whispered as though he didn't want the rest of his ship to hear. He then looked at me with a mad spark in his eye. "If you divided the universe into 'good guys' and 'bad guys' leaving some margin of definition for the few stragglers that fit only in categories of their own, the Culraiths would be at the front lines of the bad guys hiding under the beds and scaring the life out of the good guys before the rest of the bad guys got there."

"Which are you?" I blurted.  
"I'm the margin of definition," he replied without hesitation. "Culraiths on the other hand are pure energy and are extremely intelligent because of how evolved they've become. Their one goal is self preservation no matter what the cost and sometimes, it's too much." He glanced at me significantly before he continued. "Their origination isn't known exactly. Most energy life forms came into being as the universe was being created. Some say the Culraiths come from the Dark Matter, dense masses closer to the center of the galaxy but in either case, they are ancient and powerful."  
He ran his fingers through his hair as he thought for a moment, "That's what I don't understand. Earth is way far out for a Culraith. This one must have been thrown into the planet's magnetic field because it was damaged somehow and because it's so bent on keeping itself alive humans became the hosts for it."

"So none have ever been here before?" I asked feeling a little relieved.  
"Well, I'm sure ones that were dying, or fading may have gotten to the surface somehow. That's when you hear of a random but vicious crime somewhere in the world. It can be the dying Culraith, not the human. It's rare but it's not unheard of."  
I considered the Doctor's words. I was possessed by a life form, a life form most likely far more intelligent than I'd ever become and it was feeding off of me to keep itself from dying. "So this thing won't let me go without a fight," I said flatly.  
The Doctor placed his finger under my chin, "Don't worry, neither will I."

An echo of a wail came to my ears. I knew it was the Culraith, still battling, trying to latch onto me again. "What have you done to it?"  
"You could say I imprisoned it a little. A bit of negatively charged energy patterns and – " he stopped. His eyes narrowed into slits, then grew as wide as dinner plates. "But that's it. If I could get it isolated in a focused field of negative energy it would eventually cancel itself out. And I think the TARDIS was able to pick up the energy signature while you were attached to it."

"Like an equation? Positive and negative – "  
"Absolutely! The intelligence would be there but it wouldn't be in control of anything. I would just need to reverse it."  
"Could you do it now?"  
The Doctor glanced at me and his face fell a little, "Not while it has you. What I've done in your head is only temporary. If it was any stronger your mind would not survive. Like putting a magnet to a computer hard drive. But I will not give it any more chances to take you, Alice. I give you my word. We just need to find a way to get you safe first."

I nodded and fiddled with the towel in my hands, "You'd kill it?" I spoke softly surprised that I had any sympathy.  
The Doctor considered me and sat down again, "Only if I have to. Keep in mind that it doesn't only threaten you, Alice but the entire world of human beings who've suffered pain, loss, or remorse."  
It also had taken my father from me. The Culraith still fought violently for control which is what it had in Dad. He had no chance, to option to fight for his sanity, for his life. But I did. I made a decision as I sat inside that alien space ship that was currently stored in the cellar of my late parents' home. Even if it killed me I would not allow the Culraith to move beyond my head, not even to the Doctor's again.  
If I could prevent suffering, I would.

"It sensed you. It knew you were there, right?" I said as an idea formed in my head.  
"Yeah," the Doctor said slowly.

"If there was a way we could fool it. Find some power source that would attract it enough to want to leave me…" I looked at him uncertainly, believing it was a crappy idea.  
"A lure. We'd just need bait." He smiled at me, "Brilliant! You're already catching on."

I smiled, extremely satisfied that I had impressed him as a faint bell rang making us both jump. A muffled knock followed a few seconds after.  
The TARDIS door was open and I realized what it was. "That's the front door," I said, looking confused.  
"They only settle for a 'we don't want any' in person." The Doctor said as we both got to our feet and he followed me upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5 Chase

Chapter 5 – Chase

Another knock and I heard my name being called by a male voice.

I opened the door and stared in mild surprise at the man who stood on my porch. "Teddy," I said stupidly.  
"We don't want any," the Doctor said over my shoulder.

I elbowed him in the ribs and I continued to stare at Teddy believing that he was some sort of remnant from a former life of mine. The past twenty four hours had been exponentially long, at least from my point of view.  
Teddy ignored the Doctor and kept his eyes on me, "I wanted to see how you were. We brought your car back and here's your stuff out of your desk." He handed me my car keys and my bag.  
"Thanks, Teddy. You didn't have to go to all that trouble – "  
"I wanted to," he smiled. "And I brought you some magazines and hot chocolate. I know you don't like coffee."

I felt myself becoming more flustered the longer he stood there, "That's really sweet of you. But how are you getting home without my car?"  
He pointed behind him, "Jordan's taking me back."  
I looked over Teddy's shoulder and saw a silver Volkswagen parked across the street.

"You look better," Teddy said. "When you left," his eyes flicked to the Doctor then back to me. "It gave us all a scare."  
"I'm sorry. I am better though. I just need a little… time."  
That must have been the first joke the Doctor and I shared together. I felt a nudge in my back after I'd emphasized the last word in my sentence and I could hear him trying not to laugh.

"You'll let me know if you need anything," he said.  
"Of course – "  
Before I could do anything to stop him, Teddy pulled me into a tight hug and pressed his lips to my cheek as he held me. His face was next to mine when I heard a hushed breath from myself or from him, I couldn't tell. The tantrum inside my head was silenced. I could think. A hand pressed onto my arm and the Doctor pulled me back as Jordon honked the horn irritably.

"Thanks for coming, it's really very sweet – "  
"Alice," the Doctor spoke my name sternly which caused me to stop and look up at Teddy. He was swaying where he stood and let out a grunt as though he were in pain.

The Doctor pulled me back further from the doorway and Teddy.  
"Teddy, are you alright?" I knew he wasn't.

Teddy's eyes focused on me but he wasn't looking at me. I cursed under my breath as I watched the whites of his eyes darken until they looked like black holes – entrances to the deepest, and darkest hell I had ever known. A slow grin spread across his face. There was no warmth in it. No _wonder_ my head felt so clear. It was clear!

"It must have escaped," the Doctor muttered.  
Teddy laughed a harsh inhuman laugh, "_You really believe you can imprison me?"  
_"What have you done to Teddy?" I demanded, wanting to leap at him and pound the damned thing out of his head but the Doctor held me to his side.  
The black eyes burned into me, "_So concerned. Are you really? That's something new and I think Teddy would agree with me. The poor boy virtually shunned day in and day out by the woman he loves ."  
_My voice caught in my throat as my brain tried to process what I'd just heard.

The Culraith-Teddy advanced so fast that he was smack in front of me in a second, shoving the Doctor aside with astounding strength. "_Do you know that's one of the only thoughts in his head that is worth my time? Oh, it tortures him so_." His hand wrapped around my throat and began to squeeze. "_Strange how something so insignificant could be so happy all the time. We should remedy him of that, don't you think? I wonder how the sight of your dead body lying on the floor would affect him. Oh, and perhaps the 'murder weapon' in his hand yet he has no memory of what happened, of what he did. It's a start anyway."  
_My eyes were streaming as I gasped for breath. He pressed his face close to mine so our noses nearly touched.  
"_You see, Alice. I know your mind. Your silly plans to destroy me will not succeed and if I must kill you both to prove that then so be it._"

I gulped out a feeble scream and futilely tried to pry his fingers from my throat but they were strong as steel, not like any human I'd ever met. Black spots began to appear in my vision as I felt the sudden urge to pass out when I heard a light electronic whizzing noise and a blue light reflected on Teddy's face.  
The pressure on my throat was lifted as he released a piercing howl. Teddy staggered away from me and I slid down to the floor coughing and spluttering, wiping the tears from my eyes when the Doctor crouched down next to me.

"We've got to get out of here," he muttered. "It's after the both of us now, just for vengeance and all the fun that goes with it. Are you okay?"  
I nodded as I tried to focus my vision on him, "Thanks, yeah." I turned to look into the front room. Teddy was getting to his feet again.

A rush of panic took me over and I grabbed the Doctor's hand and snatched my keys and bag from the floor. "Come on!"  
We ran out the front door into the light of midday. Teddy made a leap for us but I slammed the door and the locks clicked in obedience to the Doctor's small blue light tool.

"What exactly - ?" I began.  
The Doctor yanked me off the porch and ran down the front garden to the car park. I stopped at my car and unlocked the driver's side as the Doctor back tracked and bounced on the balls of his feet waiting for me to unlock the passenger side.

I fell into the seat and leaned over to unlock the Doctor's side. He slid inside easily and slammed the door. "This is American, isn't it?" he said as I started the engine. I nodded as we backed out into the street.  
Specifically it was an old Dodge Charger that Dad had restored. Dad was proud to be an Englishman but he had grown to put a bit of that pride aside and fell in love with American engineering, to be more specific, automobiles. He had the entire drive shaft moved to the right side of the car and added a few features of his own like the bright blue metallic paint job, the CD player and sun roof. It never felt like an American car to me. It always was 'Dad's Car'. I still miss it sometimes.

Teddy was striding down the front garden when we got to the street and I threw the transmission into first gear. We whipped down the road, careful to avoid Jordan who'd confusedly gotten out of his car to stare at us then at Teddy.  
"Did you see the front door?" I moaned. The last I looked it had been hanging off its hinges in the doorway.  
"Could you turn that down a little?" the Doctor said.  
The CD in the player had started when I'd turned the car on.  
"You really are nine hundred years old, aren't you?" I said as I turned the volume down.  
"It's not the time for that right now," he said defensively.

I swerved around a corner down another side street in the old neighborhood nearly flattening some garbage bins in the process.  
"You sure you don't want me to drive?" the Doctor said as he gripped onto the door handle.  
"I'm perfectly fine, thank you. Just a little stressed." I snapped at him. "Besides, it's probably been over a century at least since you've driven anyway."

I glanced sideways at him and saw him shrug without arguing any further. There was nothing in the rearview mirror when I took a look as we turned the corner. I looked again. Then once again. A silver Volkswagen had pulled around the corner about fifty meters behind us and started to gain. "Oh no," I said, staring into the mirror. "That's Jordan's car."

The Doctor twisted round in his seat.  
"Is it Teddy?" I said as I turned another corner onto a back road. The car barely fit in between the back garden fences of the homes on either side of us.  
"Yes," the Doctor said. "It's the Culraith."

I pressed on the gas, keeping a continuous eye on the Volkswagen in my rear view mirror. "But why go to all this trouble? Can't it just go back inside us and kill us that way? It could leave Teddy alone." I kept my arms stiff and my hands gripping the wheel to the point that my knuckles were turning white.  
I couldn't tell what the Doctor was doing because my eyes were locked on the road. "I suppose it could," he said slowly as he thought. "But I think that we have to let it back in."

I turned and fully looked at the Doctor for a second before getting my eyes back on the road.  
"When you finally were able to get into that room," the Doctor continued. "Your father was already gone. You touched him though, didn't you? And then just now, Teddy touched you and the Culraith found him. I think it can only travel in between hosts if we pass it on willingly."  
"Like an illness." I said.  
"Either way, the Culraith feeds off of chaos and madness in general. A situation like this will take it a little longer but will turn out very satisfying to them."

The Doctor glanced out his window then leaned towards me and looked out mine. "Stay on back roads, any side streets you know. The Culraith wouldn't bat an eye at killing any human who happened to get in its way."  
I nodded as turned down another quiet street and began heading east, towards the country and eventually...the shoreline. If somehow I could get the chase out in the open I knew I'd have no problem outrunning him.

The tires squealed slightly as we turned. As the Doctor and I righted ourselves in our seats again the Volkswagen came round behind us. "I hope there are no police where we're going," I moaned picturing getting pulled over and what would happen to us then if Teddy actually caught up with us.  
"I love your priorities," the Doctor said.  
"I am not going to have a line of cars chasing me. One with a deranged energy based life form inside is enough for me."  
The Doctor chuckled. "Deranged," he said with a snort. "I do enjoy your choice of words, Alice."

He laughed as he pulled out the hand held blue light tool from his jacket pocket and looked out the back window. "He's gaining, Alice. You'd better floor it."  
I growled in his general direction, "I can't floor it in here."  
We still wove through residential areas. The houses were becoming larger and more spaced apart. "Alright, just let me think where we are for a second." I took another sharp turn, "We're in snob-ville right now."  
I could sense the Doctor looking at me, a baffled expression on his face.  
"Kat and I call it that because of all the rich people who live around here. I've only been south of here once. It's farmland, small villages and then…the ocean." My eyes widened in panic, "We're on a bloody island, Doctor! I can only keep going for so long and then what happens when the car runs out of –"  
"Who do you think is in the car with you?" The Doctor said, rolling his eyes. "Just a few minutes and all confidence in me is lost."

We finally started down a lane with tall trees on either side – a straight shot into the farmland and country side. I checked my mirrors. The Volkswagen was a couple of car lengths behind and kept steadily at its pace. But the Culraith must've seen what I saw. It started to gain on us.  
"Hold on," I said and slammed onto the accelerator, knocking the both of us back in our seats.  
Third gear – fourth – fifth –

The Doctor didn't seem to be bothered by the sudden acceleration as he was poking around with the blue light device in his hands. We were screaming down the road through a landscape of rolling hills and small homes in the distance, my eye still on the rearview mirror. The Culraith managed to keep up with us for a while until Dad's car got into its stride and it began to fall behind.  
The road started twisting and turning around the hills. I slowed down as little as possible to keep us from screeching off the road.

"Hah!" the Doctor grinned and slapped the dash board. "I think we're ready now." He winked at me, waving the device in his hand. "Slow down a little more."  
Fourth gear –  
"Ah, hello there," he said. I took a glance at him and there was a small sparkle in his eye as he smiled at the Volkswagen coming round a bend and catching up to us again. He reached up and slid back the cover to the sun roof and pressed the button on the ceiling of the car. The window retracted, leaving a hole in the roof.  
"_What are you doing?_" I said as he pulled his feet underneath him. I reached for his arm while still trying to watch what I was doing on the road and he was able to dance out of the way of my blind grabs.

The Doctor climbed onto the middle console between the two front seats.  
"No!" I said, over the blast of wind that was coming in through the roof. "Absolutely not!" I grabbed a hold of the collar of his jacket and held him in his spot with my other hand on the wheel.  
I looked quickly at him then back to the road.  
"Do you trust me, Alice?" he said softly in my ear.  
"I can't let you – "  
"Do you trust me?"  
"Yes, but – "  
"Then let me save us." He put his hand over mine and pulled my fingers away from his jacket. "Don't worry, I've had less to hang onto." He stood on his feet, his legs crouching in the cab of the car as he slipped his upper half through the sun roof with me groaning in soft protests.  
My eyes continued to flick up to him as often as they could until he spotted me and bellowed that I should be watching the road.

"Keep it steady, Alice – let him come up on us." He yelled down at me.  
I risked a glance once more. The Doctor was pointing his small device thing at the Volkswagen. He held it in both hands as far as his arms would reach and kept it focused on the car that was coming up on us. It was nearly on our bumper when I saw another car in our path. It was moving ridiculously slow, probably some retired couple out for an afternoon drive. I let out a yelp and grabbed onto the wheel for dear life.  
"Hold on!" I screamed up at the Doctor and swerved to the right into the other lane. I missed the slow car but pushed the wheel too far. The Doctor's hands came down on the roof with a thud as he tried to hold on. We were going off the road, the Doctor's legs were flailing in the air beside me as he held on to the roof of the car.

I righted the car finally putting us on an embankment of an angle of at least thirty degrees at the side of the road. The Doctor was flung over the car, his hands clamped onto the passenger side window as his legs nearly fell all the way out of the car. I reached up and snagged the cuff of his trouser leg and pulled as we were bumped and jostled along the ground. The lower half of his body slid back into the cab.  
"I'm sorry!" I called.  
"Get back on the road!" he bellowed.  
"I know!"

The Volkswagen was to our left, in the lane we needed to be in. It kept speed with us, waiting patiently.  
After being absolutely certain that no one else was coming from the oncoming direction I wrenched the wheel to the left and cut perfectly in front of our pursuer again. The Doctor regained his balance and stood solidly in the cab. "I just need a few seconds. Let it come up on us."  
I kept both eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel as I slowed down a little. "I hope you know what you're doing," I said.  
"In a less stressful situation I'd probably take offense at that," he yelled back. "Let him get closer."

I slowed a little more until the Volkswagen was on top of us again. I could see a hint of the black eyes in my mirrors it was so close. I heard the Doctor's voice but I couldn't make out what he was saying. A loud pop followed by an ear splitting bang and screeching noises pierced my ears. I looked in the mirror. The Volkswagen had stopped dead. It became smaller and smaller as we pulled quickly away from it.

The Doctor let out a triumphant laugh as he bent his knees further and he crouched down into the car. I couldn't see Jordan's car anymore. I slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road.  
"Wooohooo!" he cheered as his entire body reappeared in the cab.  
He slid back into his seat as I stopped the car and unbuckled my seat belt. I fumbled with the door handle and stepped out. The day was cloudy but still bright with strong winds blowing over the hills. I looked down the road until it curved out of sight. There was no sign of the car or of Teddy.

The sound of the car door shutting and the Doctor walked up next to me.  
"What did you do? Is he hurt?"  
"Not by me," the Doctor said. "I fiddled a bit with the power in the car. No battery, no motor."  
"Basically, you killed Jordan's car," I said slowly.  
"Basically, yeah."

"Poor Teddy," I sighed. "He's probably scared to death."  
The Doctor shook his head, "I doubt he realizes what's going on."  
"What do you mean?" I looked up at him curiously.  
"Culraiths are empaths. The human mind is easy enough for them to control if they wanted. They just take over and the human inside goes dormant. Comatose."  
I folded the idea over in my head for a few seconds, "So the real Teddy is asleep right now?" I pointed down the road.  
"More or less."

I bit my lip and stuffed my hands in my pockets. His eyes were on me, studying me. I felt them but I didn't look back.  
"Alice," he said.  
I stepped away from him and sat on the car bumper.  
"What is it, Alice?" he said, walking up to me.

I shook my head, avoiding his eyes, "Nothing. It just raises more questions." My voice drifted off.  
"Well, I'm not one to brag – "  
I snorted –  
"- all the time but I'm pretty good with questions," he said with a small smile.

I laughed out loud, "No you are not. I bet there are still people out in the universe still trying to work out your answers to their questions. I know I am."  
"Alright then. If you'd rather not tell me, that's your choice." He said and stepped away from me and the car.  
The gravel on the side of the road crunched beneath his shoes until he sat down a few meters away, his back facing me. "It really is a lovely day isn't it? A bit grey but still, very nice." He said to the general public. After a few minutes, however, he got back to his feet, brushed the dirt off his trousers and wandered back over to me.

"Alright," he said as he leaned next to me on the car.  
"Alright?"  
"Out with it."  
"Out with what?"  
"Oh, for the very love of all that is considered holy – with what's bothering you!" he sighed and calmed his voice. "I suppose it's because of the memories, the ideas, maybe the very emotions we share now. Whatever that may be, now that I've got your head in mine I find that it drives me mad not knowing what's upset you when I know full well that something has. It's a side effect I'd never considered, actually."

I continued to look down the road, "Hypothetically speaking – "  
"I love hypothesizing. It is a fantastic pastime."  
I shot a glare at him and he closed his mouth quickly.  
"What would it mean if a human knew what was going on – if he or she were aware of what was happening the entire time a Culraith had taken control?"  
The Doctor followed my gaze down the road as he considered his answer. "Hypothetically speaking," he said quietly and stayed silent for a moment longer.

"Alice, I should tell you that I've seen many things in my life time. Things that would completely capture your senses, an imagination like yours and also things that would turn your brain inside out as you tried to comprehend them – "  
"Do you see what I mean about the questions?" I said.  
"My point is," he spoke sternly. "That I doubt very highly that anything you could say to me would shock me." He scratched the back of his head. "I never thought I'd have to say that to someone. I guess I'm taken for granted more than I would like to think."

"I saw everything. I heard everything. I didn't go to sleep and then wake up like you said. I remember all that was said and it wasn't even my voice coming from my mouth or me looking from my eyes. But I witnessed it."  
The Doctor looked soberly at me and raised his eyebrows slightly. "That doesn't make you any less human or more like the monster if that's what you're worried about."  
"What does it mean, then?"

"It means that you should never heed what that Culraith said about you. You are unique, Alice. Perhaps more than most and certainly more than it will ever be aware. You have a clearer perception of things it seems."  
I mulled his answer over in my head and came to the conclusion that there was a compliment in there. The Time Lord telling me that I was unique. I felt comforted and allowed my eyes to drift over the landscape until I saw a movement on the road in the distance. I stood up, moving a few paces from the car, squinting down the road.


	6. Chapter 6 Parachute

Chapter 6 - Parachute

"What is it?" the Doctor had followed me.  
"Do you see that?" I said, pointing down the road.  
The Doctor fumbled through his jacket pockets until he found a small pair of binoculars. They whirred and whizzed after he put them up to his eyes. "It's Teddy. He's in bad shape it looks like."

I didn't hear the rest of what he was saying as I ran back to the car and ripped the door open, starting the engine as I flopped into the seat. I snapped the car around and pulled up next to the Doctor who began pounding on my window until I rolled it down.  
"Get in," I said.  
"_Think_, Alice. The Culraith has not left his body."  
"I don't care. It's my fault this happened to him in the first place and it will be my fault if it kills him. I'm not going to let that happen."  
"It's a trap." He said, nearly pleading.  
"That's why I've got you. You promised me, Doctor." It wasn't my intention originally to take advantage of his guilty conscience but it slipped out anyway. The Doctor pursed his lips and scowled at me before going round and getting in the car.

We drove about a half a mile or more before we got to him. Teddy was staggering down the road, barely able to lift his head to look at us as we pulled up. I pulled the brake and opened the door.  
The Doctor put his hand over mine to get my attention before I got out, "Be very careful. No skin contact if you can help it."

I stumbled out of the car and ran to Teddy, the Doctor just behind me. "Teddy!" I said as I reached him and put my arm around him to keep him upright.  
"Alice?" he muttered. "I had the strangest dream…but how did I get here? And why am I so tired?"  
"Don't worry about that now. I'm taking you home."  
"Oh, that's good because blimey, I'm beat. I feel a little sick."  
I steered Teddy over to the car and opened the door to the back seat. He climbed in and lay down. The Doctor scratched his head as I shut the door, "We'll have to get him back to the TARDIS. I need more of a controlled environment and that's the best one in the universe."  
"Thank you," I said, relieved.

He only nodded and got back in the passenger side of the car as I started the engine and continued down the road, heading back home. Teddy moaned in the back seat.  
"Is he alright?"  
The Doctor twisted around and stretched into the back seat, scanning Teddy with the blue light thing. "The Culraith is still inside him. It's feeding off of any energy it can find. Teddy must've had a happy life. It's taking everything else from him."

I pressed down on the gas and the engine revved up as we started faster down the road. "Can you help him?" I asked, looking at the Doctor through the rearview mirror.

"If I touch him now it would be risking my mind again and we've seen how that goes," the Doctor spoke plainly as though he wasn't afraid of that happeninig to him again. But I knew better.  
"No, don't," I said. "He just needs to be okay until we get him back to your ship."

The Doctor climbed back into the front passenger seat. After a few minutes, the occupant of the back seat went silent. I glanced back and tried to get a look through the rear view mirror. Teddy's body was limp and his eyes were closed. "Is he okay?" The Doctor peered around the back of his seat at him, then looked at me. "I managed to dampen the effects of the Culraith. He's asleep now but I don't know how long he'll stay that way and I can't account for the dreams he may be having."

I felt his eyes on me again, calculating as they always seemed to do no matter what the situation. My cheeks went a little warm.  
"He may be dreaming about you, actually," he muttered.  
"You can shut up about that right now," I snapped at him.  
"It's unfortunate though, when you think about it –"  
"Then don't think about it," I said sharply.

"Teddy being too scared, too worried, too paranoid to look you in the eye and tell you how he feels," the Doctor continued as though I hadn't spoken and propped his feet up on the dash board. "Another interesting thing about humans, I'd wager. Only when you believe the end is imminent do you say what's really on your mind."  
I rolled my eyes, "And you have no problem with doing that, right?"  
"When you're as old as I am you end up losing that tick that fear gives you. It only gets in the way."

I knew he wasn't telling the full truth. I had his memories. There was no denying he was powerful and extremely intelligent, but that did not make him without fault. For a reason I couldn't pinpoint, I knew that for a fact about him. "Fear like that can also keep you from making a horrible mistake," I said.  
"Is it good that Teddy never told you then?"  
My immediate and selfish answer was yes. Had Teddy told me I probably would have gone with it as I had no where else to go. Even though I knew I didn't love him and probably never would, I would have gone along with him for a while and then it would come to me being afraid of telling him the truth. I would end up breaking his heart as self important as that sounded. So in the end, saying yes probably wouldn't be a selfish answer after all.

"Yes," I said quietly.  
"You're alright on your own?"  
"Don't be so daft. No one's alright on their own, not in the end. Some of us don't have a choice though," I said plainly. I peeked in the back seat thinking I heard a shift but Teddy was still, his eyes closed.  
"Many people would hesitate to admit that truth. Many more aren't aware of it at all," the Doctor said calmly.

"Fear of truth again, Doctor," I said.  
He let out a little laugh, "It's so easy to hide, isn't it Alice Crown? Sometimes it's too easy."  
I nodded and blinked away the tingle in my eyes that usually preceded the water works. I'd thought for a while that I had become accustomed to living alone – to _being alone_; the feeling, the emptiness. I realized then that no one could ever get used to it. Even the ancient being that sat silently beside me, turning his head every now and again to check on Teddy acted as though it continued to bother him after so many years of being on his own.

"You have your ship, right?" I said. "Do you visit home often?"  
His eyes were on me again and seemed darker, deeper when I glanced at him, "You already know the answer to that."

I stared confusedly at the windshield as the new memories that didn't belong to me resurfaced. My mouth fell open and I felt the moisture in my eyes. I had seen those images before – just earlier that day. "I'm so sorry," I saw the citadel burning, its buildings crumbling beneath the fiery red sky. I lifted my hand to wipe the tears away and noticed that it wasn't my hand. The fingers were long and the palms larger. It was the hand of a man. The pain I felt with the memory was insurmountable – the sense of loss, the guilt and the deepest sorrow I could ever imagine.

I blinked and I saw the road in front of me again, his voice was close by as well.  
"Interesting things, memories. You can't observe them from an outside point of view. And because of that you can't have the memory without the emotion that comes with it. That's why the Culraiths use them."  
I sniffed and wiped my eyes, placing my hand back on the manual gear shift. He put his hand over mine and patted it understandingly. I cleared my throat and pushed the memory away. Because I had my control back, it allowed me some peace, finally. "So what memories to you have of mine?" I asked in attempt to change the subject.

"Well," he spoke lightly, staring at the ceiling of the car as he thought. "I'm still trying to sort out the images, really – put them in some kind of order." His brow furrowed, "There's the girl in the red dress. She's looking at her reflection in the mirror. Same exact blue eyes only without the shadow in them."  
I glanced at him for a second then back to the road.  
"Ah," he said with a broad smile. "Just as they are now."

"What else?"  
Teddy groaned softly and the Doctor checked on him again. "Still sleeping," he muttered. "Let's see. There's this young man, maybe fifteen, sixteen years old. He's smiling and you're feeling a little – Oh," he said as though he'd just found the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle. "Your first kiss I take it?" He was looking at me innocently with raised eyebrows.  
I frowned at the windshield.  
"Don't be upset, Alice," he said. "This is more efficient than any getting-to-know-you game I've ever participated in," he stayed silent for a moment and began subconsciously rubbing his face. "Oi! His face must've felt like a steel wool carpet."

I laughed, "Like rough grained sand paper."  
"How disrespectful is that? Stupid boy. Some first kiss, huh?" He patted my hand again.  
I shrugged simply, "I learned a long time ago that moments like that – the ones you look forward to and picture in your head all the time – never turn out the way you see them."  
"You're far too young to be saying things like that," he said in a low voice.  
"Can't be helped," I said.

A sudden crash and a groan stopped our conversation. I looked to the Doctor. His eyes were closed and he was slumped against the closed car door. The door window had a huge break in it that was splintering from the point of impact out to the rest of the glass area.  
"Doctor!" I screamed and slammed on the brakes.  
We skidded to a stop but I couldn't move to help him. Teddy's darkened eyes blinked right next to me and I felt his hands on my neck and throat.

"_Turn around, Alice_," it spoke through Teddy's lips as evil and rough as it had done before. "_Go back_."  
"Why?" I said, trying to keep calm. "There's nothing the further out we go."  
"_Turn around or I will make certain he never wakes," _the Culraith/Teddy gripped the Doctor's neck as though he would snap it.

He squeezed on my neck as well as I put the car in first and turned back down the lonely road.  
"Doctor," I muttered and groped for his hand after we were back on the country road, the scenery becoming greener and flatter as we went. His fingers were still and his arm limp as we drove but I held onto him. I don't know how long we drove. Teddy sat, waiting patiently in the back. I knew that we'd be reaching the coast soon because I think I ended up going more east than south and I was dreading what the Culraith planned to do with us when we could go no further.  
The road had become a dirt path. I pulled off to the side, onto the short damp grass when the Culraith told me to stop. I waited after parking the car and killing the engine, still holding the Doctor's hand in mine.

"_Get out,_" the Culraith spoke harshly in my ear.  
A moment passed and I would have bet my life that I felt the Doctor's hand flex in my own. I glanced down but his fingers remained still.  
"_Out of the car now, Alice_," it said forcefully.  
I pulled the handle and opened the door. My face was stung by the icy sea air, the smell of salt and waves in my nostrils. The endless crashing of the sea on the rocks below was all I could hear above the wind.

Teddy stood right beside me, "Now – "  
"Wait," I said and I braved the dark eyes. "Whatever you want to do with me is fine," my voice shook but my gaze didn't falter. "But I'm going to make sure he's okay first." I pointed to the car where the Doctor still sat unconscious.  
Teddy nodded and waited as I hurried over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door cautiously. The Doctor nearly fell out. I pushed him back into the seat and saw a spot of red where his head hand hit the window. I took of the thin sweater I was wearing over my shirt, balled it up and rested his injury against it. "No matter what happens, Doctor, thank you," I said as I tried not to cry. "I would like to have known you better."  
The Doctor groaned and muttered something, his lips barely moving. I kissed him on the forehead and before I moved away he mumbled again. The only word I caught was 'happy' before I closed the door again.

Teddy grabbed me roughly by the arm and we started to move toward the cliffs where the Earth seemed to stop and the sky moved on forever beyond it. It was beautiful. Had the situation been a little different I would have wanted to stay there for a while. We reached the edge and looked down. The white cliffs ran down for what looked like miles until they reached the ocean and the clusters of rocks below.

"You're going to let me fall? Is that your revenge?" I said.  
_"Have you ever witnessed someone's mind as they are falling?"_ he said in my ear._ "It is a thrill and a feast - all of the horrors, the regrets, the lies and truths, all bubbling to the surface at once. You alone could provide me with energy to live on for weeks before you die. They I will move on to your friend."_ The eyes closed and a smile crossed the lips, "_Such dark thoughts, the terror and violence he has locked up inside his great mind could sustain me interminably."  
_"You won't get him," I said. As terrified as I was I amazed myself by being able to speak at all.

_"Just the willingness of his touch on the dead bodies will transport me and I will be powerful enough then that he will not be able to stop me."  
_I looked at him in disbelief, "You're going to kill Teddy too?"  
"_He will be of little use afterwards,"_ it said plainly.  
I wiped a tear off my cheek and I saw an image of a blonde woman smiling up at me. Her eyes were warm and I could see the love in them. But the love was certainly not for me. I closed my eyes against the memory and focused on the crashing waves.

"_Are you ready?"_ its voice mocked me. Teddy's arm went around my waist but at the same time someone grasped my hand on my other side.


	7. Chapter 7 Equation

Chapter 7 – Equation

"Ready? You must be bonkers standing so close to the edge. You could fall, you know." The Doctor stood next to me, peering over the edge apprehensively.  
Teddy's grip on me loosened out of surprise and as he spoke, the Doctor pulled me away from the edge and Teddy, yanking me around so I stood behind him. "I'd rather have a parachute anyway if it's all the same to you." He stood firmly on the ground between Teddy and me.

My sweater was in a tight twist tied around his head, looking rather ridiculous with his hair sticking out over the thick band of fabric.  
"_The Doctor,"_ the Culraith said in pleasant greeting. "_Such a strange title for such a maddeningly dark a person. It's a bit of a false impression, wouldn't you say?"_ He put his hands casually behind his back and took a few steps towards us. "_But I know you," it said in a low voice. "As does the little and falsely precious Alice, doesn't she?"_

I peered around the Doctor's arm which he still held in front of me, keeping himself in between the evil and me.  
"_Why do you protect her, Doctor? She is no one, especially to you. I'll make you a deal if you like,"_ it paused but the Doctor wouldn't respond and only looked stonily back at the black eyes. "_Allow me my time with Alice and I will allow you to go," _he stretched out his hand to me. "_Come on Doctor. She can't mean that much to you. Let me have her and you can go without further thought of me."_

My hands rested on the Doctor's arm but he didn't move.  
"If I took your deal tell me what you would do after you finished with her."  
The Culraith didn't reply.  
"Come on now! All of that talking and you're just now locking up and throwing the key away? You could go on about how you would _never_ stop on account of a silly promise. You're a survivor and survivors are only good at the one thing even if it consumes the population of a city, a country and an entire planet."

The Culraith smiled its horrible smile through Teddy's lips. "_It seems we know each other, Doctor. But I'd wager you're the more interesting out of the two of us. You're a paradox. You won't destroy this man,"_ he gestured to the body he possessed, "_or Alice to get to me which would make things easier on you by far yet you have taken more lives than any other being in this universe."  
_I glared at the thing that stood so confidently in front of us, "His intentions were not the same as yours!" I yelled. To be honest, I wasn't sure if my words were true in that instance. I only had fragments of the Doctor's memory but what I did know was that someone who could feel such sorry never should be compared to such a selfish creature as what faced us then.  
"_How sweet,"_ the Culraith stared at me. "_Another potential companion – that's what you call them, right? She's already leaping to your defense like the most loyal of dogs. It is rather pitiful…and unfortunate."_

He ran at us at an incredible speed. The Doctor slammed into me, putting his arms around me as he pushed us both to the earth. Half of my face was in the grass. My eyes were bleary from the daze of hitting the ground.  
"He's coming around," the Doctor said, getting to his feet. "It must enhance the strength of the body somehow."

I rolled onto my back and realized how bright the sky was.  
"Sorry," the Doctor said, looking down at me. "Are you alright?"  
"I'm fantastic," I said.

He pulled out the blue light device and looked around, "He's gone."  
That got my brain started again, "Gone?" I got to my feet and looked at the Doctor. He still wore my sweater as a sad make shift turban. I tried to suppress my smile.  
"What?" he said with raised eyebrows.  
"You're probably not bleeding anymore," I chuckled.  
His eyes looked up and he shrugged as I laughed out loud.

A piercing cry shooting through the air all around us pierced our ears at the sound of my laugh.  
"Oh, that's brilliant!" The Doctor said, his eyes bright. "Quick! Think of a happy song!"  
I struggled but my mind was a blank void. "I can't think of one!" I said in a panic.

"Just, erm…'I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts'! Sing that!" he fiddled with the buttons on the blue light tool as I started to sing.  
"_I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts  
__deedle-dee-dee  
__There they are standing in a row…_"

Another screech rushed through the sky.  
"What's a food you absolutely hate?" he asked.  
"…mushrooms," I said.

The Doctor finished his fiddling as I watched him, completely baffled. But he wasn't looking at me. He was looking up and around us, scanning the distant hills. "Where are you?" he muttered before turning to me again as I kept singing the only verse of the song I knew existed.  
"Alice, I'm going to get into your head again. It will sense us and come back. When he does you have to touch him. That's what he said – willing touch, right?"  
I nodded and stopped singing, "But what about you? He'll try to get to you again."

The Doctor placed his hands on either side of my face and gave me a curious look before closing his eyes. "Alice Crown, you have got to be one of the stranger humans I've met." He closed his eyes and I saw images flashing past my eyes too fast for me to decipher what they were.  
"Don't be afraid. I'm going through your memories," I heard his voice clearly over the noise of the ocean though he was speaking softly. "It would be faster if you could think of one we could both focus on. Anything – a joke that made milk shoot out of your nose, or an event that touched you."

I was in my house sitting on the couch with Mum, watching a film when there was an enormous crash. Both of us looked round into the next room and there was a leg hanging from the ceiling wearing a work boot on its foot.  
"What happened there?" he said. He was grinning from the sound of his voice.  
"Dad was remodeling the bathroom. He had the entire floor torn up so he could only step on the beams or he'd fall through the downstairs ceiling. Well, he missed a beam and went right through." I laughed but the Doctor shushed me.  
"He did it twice," I said.

"It's coming," the Doctor's voice was no longer amused.  
In an instant I felt him next to me. Before it could do or say anything I reached out and found his shoulder, then the bare skin of his neck and pressed my hand on the spot. The darkness found my mind again but it wasn't nearly as potent. Teddy screamed.  
"Keep the memory, Alice!" the Doctor said.  
The thought was pushed back into my head. Dad's leg came through the ceiling again and by that time Mum and I were hysterical. I giggled and heard the Doctor laugh at me.

The scream was louder and more terrible than before. It burst from Teddy like a fog horn.  
"Don't let him go!" the Doctor bellowed over the scream.  
My eyes were open and my hand was still on Teddy but the Doctor had released me, his blue light tool held at the ready. Because I had no idea what it was I didn't feel very secure with the Doctor waving it around anyway.  
Teddy wailed, unable to move. His eyes opened and the blackness was fading. Teddy's hazel eyes were becoming clearer.

"Oh yes, I've got you," the Doctor said.  
"What about Teddy?" I said frantically.  
"You'd better – "  
Teddy yelped and looked at me. I said his name but he looked dazed like he'd been hit over the head. His eyes lost focus on me, rolled back and closed as he collapsed to the ground.  
"- catch him." The Doctor finished after he heard the thud. He held up the blue light tool and hit a button on it as I knelt next to Teddy.

"Gotchya!" he said triumphantly.  
I cradled Teddy in my arms and looked up. The Doctor held his blue light above his head. A glittering dark cloud of sorts hovered above it. It moved and thrashed violently in a small space as though the cloud was trapped in midair. The noise was piercing and grating on my ears.

"What is it?"  
"It's a Culraith," the Doctor said as he adjusted the controls on his blue light. "I'm giving you one last chance," he yelled over the Culraith's screams. "Leave this world and never return. I help you find a better energy source with a much lower mortality rate."  
The wailing grew in intensity. I held Teddy close to me and covered his ears.  
"That is not an option. I am not negotiating. There are other places, other sources." the Doctor was nearly bellowinig over the grating sound of the Culraith's protests.

The Culraith screeched, fighting against its invisible cell the Doctor had put it in.  
"I'm sorry," the Doctor said firmly. "You've given me no choice."  
The Doctor adjusted the tool one last time and the blue light blinked. A field of light flashed around the Culraith, blindingly white. The screaming faded into an echo and died with the light.

I blinked away the burn of light in my vision and saw the Doctor stowing the incredible device back in his pocket. He untied my sweater and took it off his head as he walked toward Teddy and me. He squatted down next to us and put his hand over Teddy's forehead.  
"He's breathing alright, he's just out cold." I muttered.  
"He's had a tiring day, but he'll be find as you said." The Doctor lifted his eyes to me. "What about you?"  
I smiled broadly, "I'm great."  
The Doctor returned my smile, "Good."

--

With substantial effort the Doctor and I were able to carry Teddy back to my car. After some unnecessary acrobatics on the Doctor's part, we were able to slip Teddy into the back seat. None of our antics woke him and he slept on as I closed the car door. The poor man must've been exhausted.

I leaned against the car and closed my eyes. My thoughts were my own again. The darkness and monsters that had plagued them seemed like a distant recollection of old and faded nightmares. I breathed in the salty air and opened my eyes again. A lone figure stood at the edge of the cliff, his hands in his pockets, his face looking out over the water. As I walked over to him I went over arguments in my head on how to get the Doctor to stay, each one more feeble and transparent than the last.

I stood at his side and looked out over the rocky shore below and the endless curve of sky and water. "Thank you," I said.  
"You did most of it. I only helped you find the memory." the Doctor said calmly in the gentle voice I heard him use when he first spoke to me.  
I laughed at the thought of it, "What did that do, exactly?"

"We found the Culraith's mushrooms so to speak – happy memories, memorable memories. Every Culraith has its own likes and dislikes in the energy it consumes just like any other being and its food. Instead of luring it out, you pushed it out. I had previously programmed the energy frequency into my sonic screwdriver – "  
"Your what?" I said with my mouth open slightly.

He waved his hand at my question and continued, "Then it was canceled out, just like your equation. Kaput."  
"I gather it didn't want your offer," I said.  
"Yep," The Doctor looked thoughtful for a moment then looked down at me, "It got a taste of something it couldn't pass up."

His eyes went back to the horizon, they looked sad.  
"Are you okay?" I said. I fought the instinct to take his hand in mine. Now that I was myself again I wasn't sure how to act around him. I'd been his patient before.  
"Yeah," he answered. "So many memories I believed I had control over – I haven't had to think on several of them for years. All of them came up and once and nearly killed me."

I flinched at the thought of the Doctor under the control of that thing. "We try to forget, Doctor. But I think our memories are always in our thoughts, we only learn not to dwell on them." I saw the blonde woman again – she was screaming as she was being pulled through the air by a force I couldn't see. "You've seen so much and you still keep going," I said, beginning my first attempt. "Have you ever thought about stopping for just a short time? You might not be as alone as you think then."  
The Doctor looked down at me, his eyes soft and a small smirk on his lips, "Can you really picture me rattling around some old house? Going to the pub on the weekends? Maybe finding a religion?"  
I opened my mouth to answer but thought the better of it.

"Whether you want to or not, you know me now." he exhaled slowly and scratched the top of his head. "I apologize for that. You know why I keep going. You know of my world and why it was lost. You can see it, can't you? Gallifrey."  
"It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen," I said breathlessly. "You don't have to apologize for that."

"I move on," he said flatly.  
I sighed, "Well, lets get you back to your ship then." I turned around and started to the car, the Doctor at my side.


	8. Chapter 8 For Now

Chapter 8 – For Now

The drive home was silent. Teddy stayed asleep the entire way until we pulled back into the drive way. I shut off the motor and sat for a minute. Neither the Doctor or I moved to open the door.

"Oh, that bloody hurts," the voice came from the back seat and it sounded perfectly human. "Alice?" Teddy sat up and looked between myself and the Doctor.  
"What do you remember?" I said.  
"I came to see you – I was about to leave and then –" his now clear and innocent eyes looked at me thoroughly confused.

"You passed out right on the doorstep," I lied quickly, careful to avoid the Doctor's face. "We brought you in but you wouldn't wake up. We were just about to drive you to the hospital, actually."  
"How do you feel?" the Doctor said.  
"Foggy, but I think I'm alright," he said sluggishly.

We helped him out of the car and up to the house. "I didn't do that, did I?" Teddy said.  
"It was a bit of an accident," the Doctor said as we passed the open door that hung askew, barely on its hinges.

The Doctor led Teddy to a couch and sat him down as I heard another car pull up and a door slam.  
"Alice?" I heard a woman call from the front garden.  
"It's Kat!" I stared at the Doctor. "She can't see you. She'll think you've taken me hostage or something," I turned him around and pushed him in the direction of the cellar steps. He only appeared mildly puzzled but did as I asked.

Teddy curled up on the couch as I called to Kat who stumbled into the room. "Where have you been? And what happened to your door? I've been trying to phone you for hours. They said you went home sick from work."  
"I'm much better," I said, which was very true. "Look, I think I should have a rest. Could you do me a favor?"

--

The long brown coat was draped over my arm as I walked down the cellar steps. I was amazed at how afraid I'd been of it and now, I didn't want to let it go straight away. The door to his ship was closed and I supposed, with a sinking feeling in my chest, he was preparing to leave. I was about to lay his coat over the railing of the stairs for him when the door squeaked open.

"Is it safe to come out now?" he joked.  
"Yes, thanks. Kat's taken Teddy home. She would have gone berserk if she'd seen you. She was the girl I was with the first day I saw you."  
The Doctor nodded his understanding.

"You nearly forgot this," I walked to him and returned the coat.  
He took it from me looking slightly confused, "What do you mean?"  
"You're leaving, aren't you?" I said, a spark of false hope glimmering in the back of my mind.  
"Oh yes, that's true."  
The spark died a painful and humiliating death.

"But, I don't know," he said casually with a shrug.  
"You don't know what?"  
"If you'd fancy going to see the very first _Star Wars_ film at its original release in 1977." He said with a sly smile.

I shouldn't have been shocked by the offer. I knew somewhere in those memories of his that he may ask me to go with him. He was happier when he was with someone. Most people are, Time Lord or not.  
I so wanted to go.

"I can't," I said in a small voice.  
"You've seen some of the dangers already –"  
"No, it's not that, Doctor. I trust you. With all that I am, I want to say yes, I really do. But," I took a breath and blinked away the tickling in my eyes. "You can't promise me that you won't disappear and leave me alone. I don't expect you to promise that either. It's ridiculous but that's why I don't think I should go with you. I can't go through that again."

"Everything has it's time," the Doctor said.  
"I know. We both know that more than most."  
He smiled a sad smile, "Another thing you should be too young to realize." He stepped out of the TARDIS doorway a little, with his hands in his pockets. "It's alright. I only thought you might want to because of what you said earlier – to know me better. It reminded me of someone."

"You were supposed to be unconscious," I said suspiciously.  
He winked and grinned. "Well, I'll be off then." But instead of going back into the TARDIS he walked to me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "Thank you," he said.  
"You too," I replied.  
He pulled away after a moment or two and turned back to his ship.

"Doctor," I said just before he closed the door. "You can make me one promise."  
"Just the one?"  
"If you can't decide where to go one day and if you're in the neighborhood, come and visit me. Just when you've got a minute and think on it, you know." I bit my lip waiting for his reply but he never did.  
He smiled his playful smile with a small glimmer in his eye before pulling his head back inside the blue box and shutting the door.

A breeze came up around me and I heard the sound of the TARDIS for the first time – the sound of time and space all wrapped up neatly in a blue wooden box with a glowing light on top. It faded, becoming more and more transparent until there was nothing in the space anymore, leaving me alone in the silent cellar.

--

Author's Note:  
First of all, thanks to those who took time to read this first episode and give me your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)  
I've had a few episodes already written. So those of you who wanted to see more will definitely be able to do so. I'm basically going to continue writing these until I run out of ideas or until I'm discovered by Russell T. Davies/Stephen Moffat (guffaw!).  
So stay tuned and keep your eyes peeled for episode #2 _True Colors _with a new alien species, the return of a character we all know and love, and of course, as much funny as I could stuff in.


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